The Vegetable

The Vegetable

- You dirty, dirty boy!

- But Mum!

- You dirty, dirty boy Phillip! Don't play in the dirt,

you'll get germs!

- But Mum.

- No buts.

- Can I play football tomorrow?

- No Phillip, it's been raining, you'll get sick from 

playing in the mud. I don't want you getting sick!

And what's this Phillip? I found it in your room!

- I don't know Mum.

- Yes you do, it's a dirty magazine! It's filth

Phillip, pure filth. You dirty, dirty boy!

  The years stumble by...

- Oh Edith is that Phillip in that photo?

- Yes Gwen, it is.

- I love his rainbow beanie, it really suits him.

- Well it does doesn't it, but I don't call him

Phillip, or he anymore. I just call him P.  I

brought him up to be gender neutral, a vegatable!