An Untold Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
I couldn't say how much i love you...

Submitted: September 24, 2010

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Submitted: September 24, 2010

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  “Life goes on forming and deforming countless memories on its path. No matter whatever happens, it never stops. Then why will I stop with a single failure in my life? Am I too fragile to accept the truth? Then why I am so frustrated over it? May be I am not eligible to move the way life rolls away.” looking at him I was thinking, as Nilin went walking away from me into the black hole.

  Tears dropped on my bare foot and I regained by consciousness after standing for an eternity like a statue. I collapsed on the ground lying on the green grass. The gentle wind blew some of my hair with its mellifluous rhythm. A grasshopper jumped in the air and landed on my hand. It gave me a tickle. The grasshopper seemed to know my feelings and so came to give his words of console and condolences. I said, “It’s ok; I will not abandon my feelings. I did not start to end it with just one failure. I will try again and again till I succeed. I will.”

  Five years seemed to pass like an iota of time when I understood my feeling for Nilin. Since then I gradually started to grab my feelings more and more. The world changed. Even the average seemed so beautiful and full of rhythm. The world seemed so colored and jovial after a decade of frozen winter. Everyday gave a new meaning to life. The people, the place, the trees, the wind, the sky, the cloud, the road, the green grass, the birds, and even my old and ragged toy bear seemed to reveal new secrets of life everyday. It was like discovering me bit by bit each day. It seemed so beautiful to watch and understand this world who gave place to a person named Nilin.

  Nilin and I were in the same school. He was one year senior.
For an amorphous reason, I seemed to be somewhat fascinated to Nilin. Nilin had a magnetic effect on me. The more I got near him, the more he attracted me to him. As time went, I took it as granted that my fate is trying to take me to Nilin. I realized how dearly I started to love him. It seemed to become a disease with time. It was like an infection spreading throughout my body. The more I saw him, the more it spreads.

  One year back, I totally surrendered to Nilin. I wanted to become a part of his life. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to know how he lives, how he eats, how he sleeps, how he studies, and what is going on in his mind all the time. I wanted to become his soul so that I could know everything about my Nilin. I wondered how come I was so attracted to Nilin. Even I didn’t have any explanation.
I tried my heart and soul to tell him that I loved him, to tell the world that I love him with all my life. Till I fell in love with him, I thought all these big talk about love is nothing more than one’s infatuation. Seeing Nilin, I came to know the real truth. He became my life a long time ago.

  After hesitating for years to tell Nilin about my feelings for him, fearing about losing him and in doubt about what he will answer, I finally got the chance of my life to tell him while he was returning home from playground at evening, while the sun was still in the sky giving me hope for my mission. I approached him with all I got. When I confronted him face to face, I went dumb. My lips were trembling. I uttered out, “do you want to come with me to my house?” I did not have the slightest idea about what I was talking. It all happened so fast. Nilin looked at me and replied, “Sorry, but not today” and he went away.


 


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