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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
another day in the life

Submitted: October 30, 2013

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Submitted: October 30, 2013



Woke up this morning with something under my back. It was a bit painful. A silver “‘67 vette hot wheel. My son was next to me all scooched up on a stack of pillows I keep in the trundle bed. Hes close to two and huge, beautiful. The trundle bed is like a twin bed but with another twin bed that can roll out underneath it right on the ground. He likes to sleep with me though and I don't mind. I have only been able to do that twice in the past five weeks. Im in a spare bedroom at my sisters house.


My wife told me to leave our home across the state. I caught her talking to a guy she had been working with for three months. A lot of calls and text messages one night between 2:00am and 3:30am when she was out of town with her sister. They were out partying and dancing in a crappy country bar in a crappy country town that has a ton of crappy churches and crappy people that evidently fight against god. So the next time we were at our home together I confronted her about it. At first she lied saying it was another girl she worked with but I am hard to lie to if you are looking at me and she told me.


I will never forget that moment. A bunch of heavy things all smashed down on me and took my breath for a second. So I threw a fit called her a ton of names and said I'm done, after cooling off I told her that I wanted to work things out. She tells me she wants me to leave. She has feelings for him. She works at a strip club as a waitress. He's a bartender. Man I am so resentful that I can't stand it. For the previous six years I was GM for a large all nude club chain. I was used to getting everything I wanted when I wanted it.


Now I lost my life again. She says that im mean to her and that she's tired of the partying. We have partied a lot for close to four years. We didn't when she was pregnant and for a few months after he was born. I had grown very accustomed to drinking and drugging a few times a week.


After I lost my job we still partied a couple of times a week nothing major but it was too much for her i guess. I needed to stop my brain from its continual and never ending scenario building drivel. I can only turn it off when I sleep or its in an altered state. Pretty sad I know.


Its only 5:30am and I don't go in until 8:00am. Okay this sucks. The whole house is so quiet everyone is still asleep. This is when my brain runs rampant. I cannot go back to sleep. So I go to work which is uneventful other than a phone call from my wife who is concerned about the baby. I reassure her that he is fine and to relax that I'm not going to disappear with him. This is when my thoughts take off again. All I can see is her with another guy having sex. That really sucks.


So I get home and the baby is playing in the backyard with my sister. He runs to me and gives me a hug. I needed that. My sister and I are changing my father he's in home hospice with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Hes in a lot of pain tonight and we have had to give him morphine.


The baby comes into the room fresh from his bath and we have dad turned in his bed so he's facing the door. The baby walks to the edge of the bed and looks between the rails. His eyes meet those of my fathers and after a moment he says “pawpaw” and my fathers eyes light up for a split second and the grimace of pain that is on his stretched facial features turns to a brief smile.


I can't even begin to describe the mass of emotions that washes over me, I look at my sister and I can tell she is feeling the same thing. She has been an RN for over forty-five years and I’m sure she has seen a lot of harsh things but this is our father.


The house is quiet again and I have the baby in the room with me so he will settle down for sleep. My mind races on and I sit in silence trying to keep from breaking down. I haven't cried yet and don't know if I will or if I can. After a bit  I look next to me and see that the baby is fast asleep. I lay my head next to him and close my eyes.

What a Monday.

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