Why Did He Run?

Poem by: totallyflirtygirl

Reads: 428 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 2

breakups really suck huh? had to get my emotions out....

Why did he leave?

Was it because he was scared?

or that there was life in my stomach,

life that was a part of him?

He always asked me why I cried,

its because I knew we could never be together,

and I couldn't tell him about our little baby...

I knew he would run.

The moment I told him,

he had packed up his things,

our apartment seemed so bare,

I look down at my stomach and wonder what life is going to be like for him,

or her,

without a father

what will I tell the child?

that daddy got scared?

I can already see the tears in the child's eyes,

threatening to start a flood

now hush little baby,

dont say a word,

mommy's gonna buy you a mockingbird,

and if that mockingbird dont sing,

mommy's gonna go find a brand new king

to hold you

through the night

and he will never let you go

and he will never run

he will be here for you sweetheart

- Ciara <3

please comment I would love your feedback on how I can make my writing better

Submitted: March 16, 2012

Romance love loss romance single father mother pregnancy parent

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Comments

Jenae

you had me sold until you went cliche on me ...hush little baby...you really could have done without that....I felt once you incorporated that into your poem i lost your true emotions...i lost you and somebody else came in a wrote the rest of your poem...thats just my opinion....but other then that section i really liked it ...good job.

Fri, March 16th, 2012 3:11am

Author
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oh okay, thank you for your opinion!(:

Thu, March 15th, 2012 8:13pm

Ice Winifr3d

Okay. So you're pregnant? Don't get me wrong. I'm only asking because i don't want to assume anything or just to conclusions. It's a nice poem, but i felt that the 'hush little baby' part didn't fit with the poem. If he left you because of that, then this guy must be a real jerk (no offense).

Sat, March 17th, 2012 5:28am

Author
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no I'm not pregnant, this was kinda my older sister's story, all of this happened to her. she told me to write it, it didnt come out as well as I had hoped it would, I know that part didnt fit well I noticed that after reading it over and over haha, it really doesnt flow. thanks for your feedback!