At war with my heart.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
very long, haha. This has been folded up on a piece of paper for ages, and i wanted to get it out there, to show, how happy i am today and i think back, sometimes i cant believe how sad i was.
Enjoy, xox

Submitted: December 18, 2011

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Submitted: December 18, 2011

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run away with my heart,
take it as far way as possible,
don't look back& don't turn around,
i can't bare to see it any more.

I taught it to always be strong,
to fight when times got tough,
but just when i needed it the most,
it decided it had had enough,

it said it was too broken and bruised,
been crushed and thrown on the floor,
it had been assaulted and abused,
"i just cant take it no more"

I explained i had noone,
that my heart was my only hope,
"you can't just give up on me"
"how am i supposed to cope?"

you were there when i was on the floor,
every single solitary night after dinner,
I thought i didn't deserve any food,
and i was desperately trying to get thinner,

See, I thought i didnt deserve,
anything to help me breathe,
I slit my body and cut everyone off,
and after dinner, id heave.

Id punish myself for things i couldnt control,
like the assault and damned abuse,
you, my heart, picked me up,
when i thought i wouldnt make it through,

three failed attempts at ending this pain,
you covinced me otherwise,
when i was dying alone inside,
you saved me and i cried,

tears are words, didnt you know,
that the heart can't verballise,
you wiped every tear that fell on my cheeks,
when i was trapped in my demise,

i was afraid of myself,
too scared to open up,
nobody gave a damn& i felt,
like i was screaming with my mouth shut,

i tried to sever ties & i,
tried to cut everybody out,
i ended up with wounds to bind,
with nobody there to help,

my only means for survival,
was my heart and heart alone,
crying every second of every day,
with nothing to keep me going,

slowly but surely, piece by piece,
you helped to pick me back up,
you plucked up the courage to rescue me,
you had finally seen enough,

after being so lonely for so long,
i forgot how happiness felt,
you said if i kept on running,
it would eventually come back,

as always you were right,
& i saw who i wanted to be,
tried to fight for the smile on my face,
but there will always be bad memories,

and you, my heart, think you can run,
now my memories are back with avengence,
run all you like, my heart,
but the brain will never surrender,

you taught me how to fight,
and thats just what ill do,
you never really were that strong,
youve been beaten to black&blue.

go rest, my little angel,
i can do this one on my own,
when you come back, ill fix your little wings,
and when the war is over, ill let you know.












 


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