present past.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Long term sufferer of post traumatic stress disorder. This is my life.

Submitted: September 18, 2012

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Submitted: September 18, 2012

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can you feel that, mother?
the sharp blow that hits my face,
yet theres nothing.
Nothing here today.
I scream so loud,
the pain hits me again.
Every last sound,
i'm going insane.
The dates that i see,
i relive over and over.
Will you God, please,
let this be over.
the piercing strike,
and screams of me,
his face against mine,
mommy, he's hurting me.
Why can't you see that?
He's right there, behind!
turn around mommy,
i'm tired, i'm tired.
She shows up to join him,
now i know this can't be,
her with him?
both of them with me?
Then Sir turns up,
and it's my nightmares in one,
make it stop please,
let this be done.
Why must this happen?
i've had enough, please.
I've got you now, rebekah.
Remember me?
each tear i felt then,
mulitipled by the thousand,
Panic strikes.
i hold on to my trousers.
Not this time,
you wont get me again,
please make it stop mommy,
im so so scared.
i scream yet again,
'mommy wont believe you'
SHE WILL. SHE WILL.
She just has to.
What did i do God?
Do you fucking hate me?
Give me a break, God.
Or please, just take me.
I'd rather  be dead,
than to feel this pain.
Numbness at least,
than this over again.
He's back again.
GET OUT OF MY WAY.
YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.
STAY AWAY.
my legs start to shake,
and i'm back there again.
in and out of all these places,
am i sane?
A slap back to reality,
in my mothers arms.
it's okay baby,
no-one can do you harm.
my daily routine,
i walk through the past.
it becomes the present,
i pray it wont last.
God must hate me.
why else would this happen?
take the damn pills,
and raise the dagger.


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