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Submitted: August 21, 2014

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Content

Submitted: August 21, 2014

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I'm spending my mornings drinking three cups of tea

depriving myself of a basic breakfast because I have it hammered into my head

that if I was thinner you would love me again.

shes a size six.

my afternoons purely consist of my heart skipping beats

making sure I save every photo you change

because it hurts to know I may miss a slight difference

in the face I analysed so deeply while making love to you

and does she know about your little hair on your cheek?

she doesn't think like I do,

not about you

evenings are usually running dancing singing writing crying sitting slowly dying

without you

because I never pictured my evenings without you

And every time I leave my house it's like a kick in the face

staring at all the places we went to because we went everywhere 

we kissed everywhere

and I can feel you on my lips when you told me forever and sealed it

a promise I believed you would never break

does she know how we planned our wedding to the T

purple and white

roses

because

Callie Rose.

I play every memory over and over again in my head trying to think of a reason

why I can't forget you

because it's not fair

its killing me how you can move on from this and I can't 

because you were the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on

and to get off

is proving impossible and it's not possible to not love you

with every day I got sicker and you got sick of me being sick

and we lost us

and I wish I could stand there and say hey baby

im back

but I've lost myself and I lose myself even more when you're around

and I cannot decide if that's good or not

you are the only thing I could never get past

and now my weekends are so lonely because you are not lying next to me

drinking a cup of my tea with me

trying to keep our hands off each other just for a second

i am so sorry for when I've lost my temper 

Or called you a bad name

or not told you the real reason I'm not okay

or for puffing my cheeks out when you tried to kiss me

but I know you secretly loved that

 

 

I miss being your princess

i hope she treats you like a king.


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