Does he not know what he puts me through?
That I think about him at night
That I fight to look like I don't care
I walk out the door looking at my outfit to make sure that you will look at me when I walk your way . I walk down the hall looking at my reflection in the emergency glass box with a hose.Now I wait because I don't want you to see me alone and your laughing and enjoying being with your friends.But your not just another crush your more... I imagine your face in my mind .I see your smile and it warms my heart But do you know that you kill me every time ignore me when you smile and laugh and I'm not there to cause it ? and now my thoughts are interrupted because Cindy is coming making her way to me so we can leave .we make our way to the bus stop talking along the way and I know I will see you . The bus stops right in front of us . The doors open and people file out getting there way to work or school.And i see you in the front but do you see me? I let Cindy go on first ,if you see her and not me will you wonder where i am? I go up the three steps and pay my fare and go to the back of the bus if it is not full . I walk past you trying to make it seem like i don't care about you and that you are just another person . That I go crazy over I think of you ,dream about you . Do you see the plead I'm sending to you with my eyes,the care .the the obsession,the concern,the hate,the sparkle,the ...LOVE? do you see that when you look at my eyes or am I just another girl that you see ? if I am why can't you talk to me? do you just don't care?do you try to get my attention,do you want our eyes to meet? do you feel a sparked? I put a head phone in one hear and look down at my mp3 . do you look at me at me and wish i woul talk to you or do you ignore me and wish i would never talk to you? the reason I don't talk to you is because I don't know what you will think of me.Will you think I'm a random girl that you know likes you?but you don't care and you don't want to talk to me? Will you be nice and just talk and will you smile like you have known me like it wasn't the first time we ever talked? your all i think about , I may be listening to music and staring at my mp3 but all I see is your face in the screen the music I'm listening to only reminds me about how i feel about you . It's time to get off now I'm waiting for a green light to come on and I'll be pushing the door out into the world . I wish it was that easy to talk to you just wait for a green light and go but I'm still waiting for that green light .Me and Cindy push the door and step down off the bus. I see familiar faces and I go to them .You may see me laughing and smiling but it is just to cover up the fact that I want you to be making me me laugh and smile. I want you to notice me and that I'm doing a very good job in saying I'm fine when I'm broken and acting like I'm having the time of my life when it really feels like my world is crumbling under my feet . With everyday I see you and I know I want to talk to you, to make you see that I'm someone that really cares about you. I want to know what your like, to see if your someone that I can give my heart to but you already took it the first time I saw you and you kept it ever since. do you know that you that you have been holding it this whole time? and until your mine I will never get it back. But you have dropped it too many times and you need to mend it . I don't want to play this game any more I want to be yours and forever your but sadly that will never be because you do not know who I am nor if i existed,I want to be your but will you let me? I want to have adventures with you , I want to feel complete again. I may have things that to make it look like I don't need you but I know I won't be able to live a day without you . people may not get it but it,s something to complex to explain. I may be able to say I like you but it's more than that.do you know i think and plan what I would say to you ? Do you know that I care so much for you it hurts? and if I can't be with you I want to help I want to be your best friend . Just remember that every time you see you'll still see that sparkle in my eyes.I hope I'll be able to see it in yours too. I hope you know that you will always have my heart. I will always feel butterflies or love in my stomach. And at times I will find it hard to talk to you let it be angry or that I will just get to nervous because I melt when I see you.
© Copyright 2016 Trina. All rights reserved.
Short Story / True Confessions
Short Story / True Confessions
Short Story / Mystery and Crime
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