Disappointing friendship

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a very honest piece about an old friendship that had recently ended. My feelings of rejection and pain regarding their relative indifference to the state of our relationship had propelled me to express myself poetically. It is the only way I can think of to garner catharsis.

Submitted: August 20, 2015

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Submitted: August 20, 2015

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I loved my friend, for nine years now

She honestly, suprised me;

I could not cry for sheer disgust at how easily she

Dismissed me. My mother never really liked her, from the 

Beginning she had told me this,

I did not, cannot, see what she did to

This very day. Friendship is

Important to me, its is of the greatest value-

It is a measurment of love and the

Endurance of change through

Time, I am heartbroken,

No one, seems to, wants to, understand

Although I have yet to cry about it, I often sigh-

About it as I want to pry

The ever absent remains of my

One sided care.

No greater disapointment have I felt in a

Relationship than in the loss of

One, friend who does not feel the pain.

The end of a romantic relationship does not, cannot,

Measure up, to the loss of one dear friend.

Who do you go to when you wish to

Confide? When your lover

Hurts you and you can no longer hide your

Feelings. Who do you trust? 

When there's no one around?

When you need a laugh or the

Freedom to frown. I

Loved my friend, and now she is gone.

And by her own volition, it just feels so

Wrong, we began this love with equal

Effort, it was a strong, true friendship.

Others looked on in awe and wonder of our sheer love and apparent

Similarity, a love now gone, a similarity now

Amended if not deliberate then by chance,

She was never the kindest friend, but at the time

I felt she was the truest, I

Gave her so much of my time and kindness.

She did not appreciate it, as

Time progressed the diamic had pivoted, 

My love remained for her and she

Left me stranded. I loved her 

Dearly, I was always by her side to support and

Help her in difficult times and to-

Praise her and celebrate when times where easy, and to

Question and debate when things weren't right.

She did not, does not care for me. I am in the

Process of opening my eyes reluctantly. But it

Hurts. It really hurts. For someone you

Genuinely love to take you for

Granted for so many years our friendship had slanted-

Now there is no more, how dare she

Insult me with her nonchalant

Responses or lack thereof to my simple question;

But why is it over?

Many a friend has advised against the

Continuation of that old friendship,

They see what I still-

Refuse to see. So many years I have fought to

Keep our friendship alive.

But her friendship had long died many years ago

But at least I tried. God knows I tried, to

Revive a dead love. But

This girl, this 'woman' does not seem to care.

It was I who tried to stay in touch, she who

Neglected to reply

I who insisted on clarity on our status as friends, she who

Neglected to reply-

I who once arranged all the meet ups,

Changing my schedule

For her, always for her, always for my dearest friend

She who begrudgingly arrived and would- 

Say no more.

She insists that she is this

Cruel to everyone nowadays but

I know her. I know her, well enough to

Decipher her lies.

I loved her very much and she

Rejected me in her jealousy, selfish depressive behaviour and

Lack of appeciation for a

True loved one; 

She is the one who cannot see, not anymore.

I'm so dissapointed in myself for stubbornly

Loving someone who does not love me. 

Apologise, please just say sorry, I would

Stupidly pursue this friendship

Again, letting the cycle of suffering 

Continue.

Say sorry, now! Do it,

Explain yourself and stop being such a-

Cruel coward.

You used me for brief joy and never again.

You do not love me back and 

I can see now that

You were never my friend.

I am opening my eyes now. 

This is why I am disappointed.

Because rejection.

You broke my heart.


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