I woke up from that dream again. I’ve had that same dream for weeks now, and I just can’t explain it. It’s just a bunch of pieces of paper, all black and white, but that all have some weird lines in them, all of them repeatedly flashing in my head at a random order. What did they mean? They all didn’t go too fast, nor too slow, yet I had a feeling they had meaning…
But that was when I had lost my train of thought
and I realized I was actually in a train!
I sniffed and sat in my seat, I blinked, snorted, and yawned, and stretched. The lights were off in the cabin I was in, so the walls seemed rather dim, and I couldn’t make out the wallpaper original colors. They all seemed… dead, somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I then thought that the casual wallpaper should have been yellowish white, but it was purple-ish white and creamy, as if the ambience in a cartoon’s light had changed to dark, and everything changed and the character’s eyes would glow.
Then I saw that I was the only one in the cabin
I was completely alone, and It was horribly quiet.
It was the kind of quiet that made you want to throw up, that the wind was tickling the inside of your ears, as if someone had left a window open inside your room, though there were no holes or cracks in the room at all.
I had looked around me, behind me, in front of me, to my left and to my right. Behind me was more chairs, leather, except the leather was damaged and ripped open, the stuffing coming out and springs bursting like a damaged mattress bed.
In front of me, more chairs, and I was close to the front of the cabin, and I could see one of those small double doors where you could enter the next cabin. But, which cabin was I in? Was I in the back of the whole train? Was I in the front? Was I in the middle?
I looked to my left and saw the other row of seats, so I was on the right side, also discovered from the evidence of a window to my right, when I looked to my right side. I looked out, and I saw that the train was passing by a forest, and I saw a deer flash past the window, and somehow, the deer had gotten stuck in the corner of my eye, and popped in front of me occasionally. It was just one of those things that stood out so bright that you can’t get them out of your head.
The deer was looking at not the train itself,
but it was looking at me, with it’s dead, black and beady eyes
and it’s sharp and crooked antlers
with it’s mysterious and majestic body and form.
My eyes were aching
and I looked away from the window and stood up
stretching and cracking my neck bones.
I sighed and looked around me once more, trying to remember why I was here in the first place, and then it hit me. I was getting on a train to see my cousin in a distant state. I was going to visit him for his birthday, and sadly enough his mother was dying from old age, so I had to party with him and comfort him. His name was Raot.
I moved out of the row I was in and stood in the aisle separating both sides of the cabin, so I could move about the area. I looked behind me first of all, and walked so the end of the cabin, looking out a window part of the two doors I could just push open to enter the next cabin.
But there was no other cabin behind this one.
I was in the back, I think, though I felt I was in the middle.
I had one of those feelings where I was where I wasn’t,
If that makes sense at all.
I grunted and mumbled to myself something I couldn’t understand, I just said it for the heck of it. I turned around once more and walked to the front of the cabin, looking through the window, and seeing that there…
… there was no cabin in front
nor was there one in the back...
I gasped and quickly turned around, and I ran to the back of the cabin again, it felt as if the whole train was shaking around and I had actually fallen down, landing on my shoulder, groaning, and closing my eyes tightly, and I gasped and opened them. I sighed and sat up, and stood, and continued running in a more calm feeling.
I looked in the window again
to find that there was actually another cabin?
I then also turned around to find
that the chairs were facing the opposite direction.
I stood puzzled, my arms growing weightless and they sagged, my wrists meeting my knees. Was this all a dream? I had no idea really. I somehow wanted to think this was all real, yet I feared that this was all fake.
I turned around again and I opened the cabin door, entering the next cabin, thinking that since the seats were all the sudden facing me, that I was nearing the front, or approaching it. I opened the door, and looked inside, and I saw that there seats, but when I blinked, the seats had disappeared! Then, it had felt like gravity was pulling my head downwards, and I had fallen instantly onto the floor as if someone had forced me down here.
My brain felt empty and something was stuck in my throat
and I tried to remember my name.
I rubbed my eyes, and continued to lay, and I grunted, trying to wake up, trying to open my eyes, yet I was forcing them closed, and I was short on breath, then I had felt weightless from the cool air brushing against my skin, I mumbled…
“Beku…” was my name
and everything went calm.
The word insanity ruffled my hair
and I felt refreshed.
Everything had calmed down, and I rubbed my hand on the side of my head, “What just happened…?” I honestly had no clue, was it all an illusion? The lights were back on. I had control of things for once. I honestly had no clue, for anything really. The only thing I remember was my name. Beku.
I looked out one of the windows once more, and sighed, watching the forest pass by again, though I felt in the time all those things had happened, the forest should have been passed by now? I then watched some more, and I saw another deer flash by. It was looking at me, like the last one.
Those must have been the only deer in that forest.
They must have been friends.
Why was I thinking about that?
What am I thinking?
I stepped away from the window and walked down the aisle. I approached the cabin door and opened it, entering another different cabin. I then realized that the chairs were fixed, and everything was more fancy. It was all fixed up and tidy.
I felt as if I needed a break, I wanted to stop thinking. I had no idea what was happening, I was wondering how long I had been on this train? Seconds? Years? Minutes? Days? When was this?
That word slid into the back on my head.
Genre. Mystery. Love. Dependence.
Those words also slid into my head
like adding a book to a library.
Knowledge. That was another. I walked. Where.
Lazily, I let go.
I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again. I woke up again.
I turned my head to my left.
Sped up with time.
And it was about time that I had forgotten about everything that had just happened, and I didn’t want to go back and read it.
*THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, THE REST OF THE BOOK IS COMING SOON WINTER 2014!
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