Who's Inner Demons?

Reads: 583  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 5

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

7 year old Madison has something wrong with her, everyone thinks she needs an exorcist, the exorcist on the other-hand, is not so sure.


Submitted: July 02, 2008

© Copyright 2020 Truthdefiesreason. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Laurel

Well, you couldnt have read me better! I actually love ghost stories and have seen a lot of 'A Haunting' episodes on the Discovery channel. But there are a few things I'd like to point out in your sentence structure. Like...

But now it was host to a kind of evil you only read about in bedtime stories. (I didn't exactly like this line. Maybe more like 'But now it was host to a kind of evil you only hear about around the campfire whne one of the biggr kids is trying to scare you' I've never heard of anyone who told bdtime stories like that to their kids.. But that's just me)

, unless they saw her with their own two eyes.(I thought it would be better just to take the 'two' out of the sentence)
David, being a devout catholic, and having a mother, even more devout than him (comma use was a bit off for me, like a few more sentences in the story. Try taking out the comma before 'and having a mother' and after 'mother'.
Orion stared at him for a second before replying, “Yes, many more than hear, among the uncivilized (get rid of uncivilized and 'hear' is spelled wrong. You want the word 'here'

Also, to exorcise a house or person requires apporval from the Vaddecan (not sure how to spell that) the Pope in other words. You submit your case to them and it can take from a months to half a year. Catholic priests usually do it to. They cleanse the house before exorcising anything also.
I would've like a little more background on the house and what was inhabiting it also.

But it was fun to read and I hope to see more from you!

Wed, July 2nd, 2008 3:00pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, and those are great ideas, i just wanted to explain one thing to you. I know about the whole permission from the Pope thing, but i read in third world countries, missionaries and "exorcists" don't have to luxury to wait for validation from the Pope. That is the kind of exorcist Orion is.hmmmmmmm maybe i need to make that clearer. But thanks Laurel, you a cool chica

Wed, July 2nd, 2008 8:49am

SouthernBelleAli

Damn, I would have been scared sh-tless if a dog had done me like that...*shivers* Great story...

Thu, September 11th, 2008 3:26am

Author
Reply

Thanks, i'm glad you liked it

Thu, September 11th, 2008 4:13am

uni man

reached all my expectations and more great work

Sat, October 18th, 2008 1:15am

Author
Reply

Thanks

Fri, October 17th, 2008 6:36pm

Vampire Princces

woah great piece of work really, it's captivating, alluring, hipnotizing, God! and less not forget scary ohhh exorcism... KOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( pls do not be alarmed i ate too uch chocolate today!)

Thu, November 20th, 2008 8:51pm

Author
Reply

lol kewl, thanks

Thu, November 20th, 2008 1:55pm

More Horror Short Stories

Other Content by Truthdefiesreason

Short Story / Thrillers

Short Story / Thrillers