Beauty

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Pretty and beauty is not really the same thing.

Submitted: May 02, 2014

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Submitted: May 02, 2014

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This thoughts come because my desperation to be in a *ahem* relationship. I know its not rush or race, but I am feeling pretty weird to never be involved in some relationship looking most of my friends have been at least be in it for once or in one now.

Short story, this leads me to definition of pretty vs beauty. My friends who are not single anymore are very pretty compare to my self (laughs). I am not saying that I am ugly, but I just can't make my self to look pretty and act more feminine. I am very much a tomboy, have a sailor mouth, and unable to wear makeup. While on the other hand, my 'double' (non-single) friends, oh boy.. They can dress themselves properly, they can do make up, they are polite, having long line of boys who are waiting to be their partner compare to me who is pretty much a god damn mess person with empty parking space. These facts brought me to some realization. Right now, in my age group (17-23),I think most of boys are looking for pretty girls who are polite and super feminine. I am not saying that boys should like impolite girls but what I am trying to say is some girls are changing to somebody else when they are around they boyfriend and I don't think that is a good thing. I have some plain jane friends who are single and they happen to be the people whom I think have the most beatiful mind. I'm not saying that feminine girls do not have beauty, all I am saying is sometimes it is kind of an irony that boys pay attention to pretty face first rather than beauty mind.

Adding to some more fun facts, all the plain janes are kind of desperate to have partner too but all just feel too weird to change themselves into pretty girls. For me, I'm not pretty and sure can make my self prettier if I can be more feminine. I am trying to be one once, and I feel weird, I don't feel comfortable. I don't know what cause the discomfort, it could be because it is new for me, but somehow I also think that is not a good thing to be someone else just to attract boys. I feel stupid. I love to swear and can't deny it. i know that is not good and I am trying to tone it down. But I just can't stand the idea of not swearing at all just to create a good image. I'm not a president, I'm not a tv channel, I'm not swearing in front of the elders or teachers. I'm just swearing when I feel so pissed off. I am a tomboy, I can't stand acting feminine. That's just not me. I love to speak of something that I believe to be true. That can't be so bad, can it?

All my plain janes friends are love to speak their mind, they are good friends and keeper but they just happen to be really really plain and sometimes very tomboy. They appearance can sometimes invite nasty comments that cringes me. Such as 'how could boy attracted to you if you can't even act like a girl' or 'maybe you never got a boyfriend because boys think you are one of them because you act and appear to be like very manly'or sometimes it could be as straight as 'are you a lesbian?'. Sorry to all lesbians out there, I don't mean to be offensive, I support your rights to love and be lived but what I am trying to emphasise here is how come people can be so shallow and say nasty things like that?

I mean hello to everybody who ever said something like that to me or the other Plain janes. We might not be able to act wear an eyeliner, walking in high heels, rocking shorts and tanktops with all the curly hairs and blush on and anything, but please do respect something that can not be covered by make up, THE MIND, THE PERSONALITY. You guys are just lucky to have girlfriends who happen to be both. Something that should you remember though, you can't put make up on your mind to make it look pretty. Do you really want to compensate a nasty head with a pretty face?

Sincerely, One of many who has been called a lesbian and stamp as unattractive.

P.S : I write this things because I am desperate to observe what makes me unattractive and the rage and confusion that I have because plain janes are often invisible in the society.


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