Have you ever wanted company? By company I’m classifying the opposite sex –Boys. If you don’t know what boys are, you must be odd and you need to check the
encyclopaedia. You see, I’m entering a stage in life known as puberty. I didn’t even pay attention to the opposite sex until . . .
I began having crushes on the opposite sex. God help me! I suppose it’s normal. The girls in my class must be going through the same thing, because they are
in love with Edward Cullen and Jacob Black, even though they don’t look cute. And besides, they’re not real! I mean who wants to be in a relationship with a vampire . . . except Bella Swan, and in
love with a werewolf? Geez I mean, Edward is a stalker who doesn’t give Bella her own space and Jacob Black . . . well my friend Gabriella thinks he’s hot, but I think he’s not cute! Okay, that’s
enough of Twilight. One thing though, how come Edward’s reproductive system works? Okay! That’s enough of Twilight! Back to my puberty problems
Yes love. Like they say, love is in the air, and I hate it. But it’s bound to happen. You meet a guy, fall in love with him, marry him and then have kids.
Okay Julie don’t go that far ahead.
I’ve never liked songs about love but now I’m hooked on. My life is really weird now.
Sometimes I just sit down in my room staring at the wall day dreaming, thinking about my future husband. My heart swells up with love for him. Gosh . . . I
know. It’s really awkward. My parents are a bit worried. I mean who can blame them, especially if their daughter stares at the wall all day long.
However there’s a little
I’ve got “guy phobia” –well I think I made up the word, so here’s my definition –the fear of guys. So you see, I have crushes on boys, but I’m also
terrified of them. I got “guy phobia” in year four when the year seven boys thought it’d be freaking hilarious to throw me into the rubbish bin. Damn! I remember stinking for the whole day! My
teacher was so mad at them that she almost got them expelled!! She made each of them write a five page letter which was quite stupid, coz they just repeated the same thing “I’m sorry Julie for
throwing you into the rubbish bin. It was really stupid of me . . .” and blah blah blah. Yeah I know –reading about other people’s problems is one of the most annoying thing, but my friends –girls
think I’m freaking
AMAZING, LOYAL, COOL & HILARIOUS
Even though I’ve got “guy phobia” I’m a year . . . don’t worry. It doesn’t matter.
Memory . . .
The time of the year came when the year twelve’s did their exams. I go to an all girl’s school, which associates, with the male school called Christ church
grammar school. Boys from Christ Church come to our school to do exams. For the past week I had managed to keep away from guys, but one Friday, the boys from Christ Church had their exams at 2.30pm
but came at 1.00pm. How convenient!
After I got my lunch, I saw the boys from Christ Church, and my first instinct was to BOLT! The boys were at the lunch area, where I sat with all my
friends. Boys surrounded the lunch area. I was just about to die right there, but my friends had other
A friend of mine Victoria grabbed me by the arm and began dragging me towards our table. I wanted to run, but my feet were obeying my friend, making me walk
towards our table. People have given me comments like “Julie you’re freaking beautiful!” and every other nice comments you can get about your looks. I swear I saw some boys turn around and stare at
me, but I just went with the flow. I began thinking of getting back at my friend, because I was around guys, and she knew I had guy phobia.
After what seemed like eternity, I got to my table. I began to eat when we began a conversation about year twelves. Victoria had a year twelve sister, named
Coral, who had just finished her exams. I had an idea, and began saying
“Hey guys, I want to turn myself into a year twelve, just like Coral. Apart from the part she’s Australian and I’m African. So I’ll say, I’m Coral, and
people will ask me how I have black hair instead of red hair, medium height instead of being tall, brown skin instead of fair skin and everything else that’s different about us.”
My friends burst out laughing because they knew a joke was bound to come out of my mouth. Guys began to turn around to hear what I was going to say.
Of course I didn’t know this, because I was thinking of what I was going to say.
I got off my chair, forgetting about my guy phobia problems, undid my long black hair from its bun, and begin to speak and act like Coral
“Yeah guys I know you’d be wondering why I’m dark skinned instead of fair skinned. I had a tan gone wrong. Yeah, and I was pressed down with an iron, so
that’s why I’m a bit short. My voice is quite deep like a male’s because I think I’m turning into a guy. My looks like it’s braided, but it’s actually in knots. Damn! I haven’t combed it in six
months. My hair is black now, because I wanted to temporarily dye my hair black, but my stupid sister got me permanent black dye. And finally, my boobs have grown bigger, because I’ve been taking
boob growth medication.”
I snapped out of my world, just to see every person who listened to me laughing their guts off. The guys were clapping and cheering for me. My friends
and some guys had fallen off their seats laughing. Some were even crying.
I was dying of embarrassment. Victoria thought it was one of the funniest things I had ever said. She told me that she was going to tell her sister
all I said. But I didn’t care; coz Coral understood my sense of humour.
Even though I was terrified of all the guys around me laughing, I was happy I made them feel better, because they would have been nervous about their
exams, in my heart, I felt happy and proud.
Okay, even though I’ve got puberty problems and guy phobia, one day, I hope, I’ll get over my fear of men, fall in love someday and get married and
live happily ever after to the man of my drams. But for now, I’ll just live my life being freaking hilarious.
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