Office Drama in Limericks, "Penny and Anne Get Caught"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The "Office Drama in Limericks" stories are the only things I plan on submitting here. I'm not an aspiring writer, so please don't critique me too harshly. During the summer, I work at the Catholic Center for our diocese (which means the Catholic headquarters for a region) as a secretary. When I'm bored at work I write these limericks, many based on my actual coworkers, and almost always with a gay/lesbian theme and religious undertones. I can't show them to anyone at work, for obvious reasons, so I'm posting here for your amusement. I try to avoid slant rhyme, as I think it's somewhat cheating. Also, every line works rhythmically in a limerick format, you just have to change the way you say it. I promise, it does. Anyway, enjoy!

Submitted: May 25, 2011

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Submitted: May 25, 2011



Office Drama in Limericks

“Penny and Anne Get Caught”

A lonely assistant was working

When a naughty young lass came a lurking.

They had loads of fun

And when they were done

The girls rushed to work they’d been shirking.

Penny was the copy girl’s name

She filled all the men full of shame

When they knew with a twist

And just a flick of her wrist

She could be in the Sex Hall of Fame.

A secretary can never be rude

So with patience Anne stood being wooed.

Well the guys tried so hard

But ‘twas Pen held the card

She knew how to get Anne in the mood.

A quick sultry look they did share

It changed to a meaningful stare

Anne knew from the glance

Penny hated her pants

And would rather her legs have been bare.

Annie said, “Don’t call me Annie!”

To the jerk who’d just checked out her fanny

He thought he was cool

But was truly a fool

The bad timing he had was uncanny.

The dolt said, “Don’t get in a tizzy!”

When Anne growled she was already busy

When he saw what she meant

How her time had been spent

He sat down so he wouldn’t get dizzy.

That’s right, he caught them in the act

They paused to see how he’d react

Would he join with a grin?

Would he shout, “It’s a sin!”?

Or just walk away briskly with tact?

With held breath they waited to see

Which one he would choose of the three

At first he looked mean

Then his eyes became keen

And his laughter resounded with glee.

Don predictably asked, “Room for more?”

As he hurriedly locked the hall door

The girls sighed with relief

And then thought, “Oh good grief!”

As they realized what he had in store.

Anne said, “Don, let me explain”

“For you to jump in is insane!”

“We’re girls who like girls”

“And girls who like girls”
“Don’t like guys.Have I made myself plain?”

“Oh, come on, you can’t really mean that!”

“Chicks only say that ‘cause they’re fat.”

“But you two are hot” (he said)

Whipping it out on the spot

And purring like a Cheshire cat.

“Look Donald, I’ll try not to mock”

“But you might as well put it back in your sock”

“What I’m trying to say”

“In the most graceful way,”

“Is ‘Fuck off dude, we don’t need a cock!’”

When Penny rebuked him Don caved

He felt shame about how he’d behaved

He felt stupid and sad

But the girls were just glad

At the discomfort they thought they’d been saved.

“Hang on now”, Don thought with a sneer

“I do have the upper hand here”
“I’m in the right”

“If they put up a fight”

“I’ll tell the whole office they’re queer.”

“Hey sorry I’m bursting your bubble”

“But I could get you two in real trouble”

“And if you don’t get me off”

He said with a scoff

“I’ll make sure your punishment’s double”

The girls, who’d resumed making love

Broke apart as Don gave them a shove

“If of your crap I get tired”

“I’ll make sure you’re both fired”

He threatened, pulling out a cock glove.

Penny said, “Don, the fault is all mine”

“I promise I’ll now toe the line”

Penny whispered to Anne

“I just might have a plan”

“Just follow my lead, we’ll be fine.”

“I just got a text”, Penny said

“You two start whilst I get it read”

But crafty old Pen

Turned on her movie cam then

And focused it right on Don’s head.

Penny walked over to Anne

And gave a sly wink to the man

“Now how about this”

“You jack off while we kiss”

And lickety-split Don began.

Don could hardly believe his good luck

Now he had the girls, they were stuck

A lifetime of blackmail

Oh, he’d get some tail

He couldn’t wait ‘til they would fuck.

Don leaned over the conference room table

Stroking fast as he was able

“I think that’s enough”

Penny said with a huff

“Dear Donald, you’d better get stable.”

“What the hell, we just got started!”

“Did I say that you two could be parted?”
Don roared in rage

“You will lose your wage!”

Whilst to her cell phone Penny darted.

Anne giggled right out of the blue

Penny caught the bug and chuckled too

“Guess what douche, you’re screwed!”

Said Pen in a good mood

“You’re on candid camera, so shoo!”

Don realized the truth, and he paled

When he knew what their options entailed

To the boss they could go

A mass email could grow

The dolt begged, “Don’t leave me blackmailed!”

“Oh don’t worry”, Anne said with a smirk

“Just don’t talk about our little quirk”

“And we’ll leave you be”

“Just as soon as you see”

“That you don’t mess with lezzies, you jerk!”

“I won’t talk”, Don mumbled with shame

He’d been beaten at his own wicked game

He knew that they’d won

His pride was near none

And he’d never look at them the same.

“We really should be more discreet”

Anne said, as they watched Don retreat

“We will, but now”

“To celebrate that vow”

“Let me eat you out as a treat.”


An illicit work romance is fun

But Penny and Anne jumped the gun

The world’s just not ready

For two gals to go steady

And will gay marriage ever be won?

Could I ever here find a mate?

There are some whose looks I don’t hate

But that’s just a dream

With an all-Catholic team

Who’re all middle-aged, married, and straight!

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