The Last Letter of Benjamin Stoner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is meant to show people the horror of society that, especially in youth, drives someone to the extent of suicide. Based on a true story.

Submitted: December 01, 2011

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Submitted: December 01, 2011

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Dear my Family, so-called friends, and anyone else who cares enough to read this,

Society has called me many names, stupid, pathetic, worthless, yet all of them no longer hurt me. Just like getting a cut, the pain you feel from getting one becomes less and less until you barely notice it. However, the damage is does is always the same. I have many scars, both physical and emotional. My life was once happy, but that life has become a dream. Something I reach out to every night as I am asleep, but can never quite reach it.

When I wake up, the complete agony of knowing I must return to the living hell of school, and then return home seven hours later is a fear that drives people mad. The people there despise me, I am laughed to and also mocked behind my back. Nobody cares, nor will they ever care. The teachers, they see it and they do nothing. They think they can not stop it but they do not try. But I know very well the torture will not stop. It will never stop until the day the worlds stops turning or the day I leave this world.

They say this world is a test, and I have failed miserably. I have created no worth in life and I do not think I ever will. What makes me think I will get married, I will have a college degree, that I will have a nice job and not be working at a McDonald's for the rest of my life. My Dad is the only person who ever cared for me and he is now dead. I am only stuck with a horrible mom who prefers my smart and popular older brother. I ask the Lord when I go to sleep why did you make me like this and my brother like that? He never answers me, even though I know he hears it. I know he hears me, but he never answers.

Then it came to me, that my only true sanctuary was heaven. Only the Lord would protect me and only he would understand my pain. Then it came to me, I had recently found the location of my deceased dad's gun. I am now going to join him in heaven. I know you will not care, but when have you ever cared about me.

My last request is that my tombstone read "Here lies a man who finds comfort only in God" You will find my body in my house, may the Lord welcome me and may I see the warm glowing face of my father in heaven.

 

Goodbye Forever,

Benjamin Stoner

 


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