i cant love you until i love myself

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 16, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 16, 2012



the mirror hurts me
i see skin an bones
i see pain an tears
i adjust myself to what i see beauty to be
but people critisise an try to control me
they claim im ruining a perfect image
but what i see is imperfections
a blank canvas
an empty easel
a tired worthless screwed up piece of parchment

lifeless, limp an un used
ink becomes love
ink becomes life
that scratch on the surface
that permanent reminder
that bleeding epidermis
pain excites me
pain brings joy
a rose formed through the cracks in a drought

no one understands
the small steps i take
i take towards my idea of beauty
beauty is in the eye of the beholder
i behold

that mirror
that window
that pain of glass
reflections of my imperfections
reflections of my inner hatred

never gonna stop is what they say
addiction is what they claim
destroying what they see
but i cant understand there reasonings
behind what they say
behind what they feel
its my body
my mind
my soul

i dont love myself
but i could one day
if they let me get to where i want to be
maybe i could eventually see
what they see

beauty is on the inside as well as out
but i see neither
i have no hope
i have no drive
i strive
not for perfection
not for acceptance
for control
control over me
my body
my mind
my soul

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