I want to tell you a story, my story of how I believed that what I was given was not enough for me, and how falling in love with a world that contained no love for myself lead me home.
My father is the owner of a big country, and has appointed his first born son king over all that he owns. Almost all my life I have lived in my oldest bother's shadow. I am not as good as my oldest brother at anything, and feel as if I bring my family shame. So one day I though to myself that there was a world outside of mine that was so fun and so big I just had to become a part of it. I then decided to tell my father that I wanted leave his loving home to be in the world. After talking to my father he told me that I should first think about the choice that I wanted to make before I just jumped head first. I took that as a yes, and packed my things right away.
As I headed to the door my father's servent approuched me and told me that the world is selfish and dangerous, and that I should be careful. Half heartedly, I thank him and just as my hand touched the door knob, my father asked me if he could talk to me, reluctently I said yes and followed him into his bedroom. In his room my father said to me,"Son, when ever you go anywhere, you carry my name with you, you represent me, and what you do and what you say, people will think that that is what I tought you, and will think I am like that." "But father", I said, I am not you, and you are not me, I don't want that on my shoulders. My brothers are go at that kind of stuff, and all I do is mess things up, I'm tired of messing things up." My father then said," Son this is what I am trying to tell you. You are the son of a ruler, and no matter where you go people will know who's son you are. Now some people will show you kindness hoping to receive something from you, and others will hate you. You know that the word hate means to wish death on someone or destruction on something. They will hate you." As i lowered my head my father then put a bag in my hands and gently said to me as he hugged me, "everything that is yours I place in your hands to do as you will, but I ask you to do as I would have you do, in love for me and the people who will look to you and want to see me. I love you son." I then left my father's house that day, feeling guilty as if I betrayed him and everything he stood for.
On the ride from my father's mansion, the people who worked in my father's field looked at me as if I was dying. Some would weep softly as thier hands covered thier eyes, while others would fall on the floor and cry. Was all that to add to my guilt? Just as my car reached the end of the long drive way, where I had spent so many years playing and testing my bountries, I was my oldest brother standing there. "Great" I thought to my self, " more guilt." As I stopped my brother came and leaned into the driver's side window and just stared at me with the same sweet smile he used to shine on me when ever I would mess something up. "Yep, more guilt."I said out loud. Placing his hand on my face he said, " No, not guilt love. Listen kid, dad loves you, so do I and EVERYONE here. If you need me, call me, you know I will be there. Be good." With that he stepped away from my window and I drove off. As I drove I looked into the bag my father had given me, and saw money, medicine, seeds and the book my father wrote explaning his rules for the kingdom.
When I saw the book, I couldn't help but to remember th time my favorite servant told me about when after my father wrote it he sent my oldest bother to explane it to the people of my father's kingdom. My servant had said that the people did not accept it and tried to kill my brother. My brother lived. It was not the fact that my brother servived all that they did to him, but it was the fact that my brother came home and asked that my father have mercy on them! I could not help but to remember when I was young and one of my father's servants had said something that hadhurt my feelings. I begged my father to punish him, but he never did, he would just look at me with a smile, and that hurt worse then what the servant said to me. "I could never be like my brother," I thought to my self. "Never."
Within a matter of six months in the city out side of my father's royal house, I found drugs, beer, sex, and porn. I found tons of friend, and we partied so hard that I can not remember one whole month! It was like love at first site. Six months later I was flat broke, my friends were gone, I hadsold my car for drugs and wine, and I was homeless. When I looked in the bag my father had given me, I saw that all I had left was the seeds my father had given me. Soon after a famine broke out and everyone was hungry, so I decide to get the seeds my father had given me and I then walked to the market center in hopes of selling them. As I walked to the center, holding the seeds in my right hand, some had fallen on the ground. I tried to pick up as many as I could and most were gone. They had fallen into places I could not get my fingers into. Some of the seeds had fallen into a thorn bush, some into the cracks in the concrete, and others were lost in the dirt on the side of the road. Just as I was about to give up, I saw that a couple were just laying on the road, and as I was about to walk over to them, a black crow landed on the street and started to consume the seeds. I then looked into my hand and counted how many I had left. Twentyone seed is what I counted, "so many seeds wasted." I said to myself, shaking my head as I began my walk again, "so many wasted."
When I got to the market center, I notice that there was far more buyers then sellers. It was just a man selling sickly pigs and my self. I found a placenext tothe pig dealer and stood on the a old wooden milk crate and announced that I had seeds for sale, and right a way people started waving money into the air. I then noticed a man wearing a hood, that was walking towards me, with anger and hate in his eyes. Freightened, I was about to run a way, when out of nowhere I saw two of my brothers gaurds grab the man and drag him away. As they dragged him, the man was screaming that I sould not be there selling seeds when I could be helping feed all the people. Just as they were almost out of sight, I saw a knife drop from the man's hand.
I had sold most of the seeds but did not get a lot of money, fifteen dollars is all I had gotten for eightteen seeds. I then looked over at the man selling the sickly pigs and was that he had not sold a single pig. I then walked up to the man and gave him the rest of the seeds I had left. As I started to walk away the man said to me, " Hey, thank you....if you want I...I will give you a job. I don't have much to give you as payment, but if you will tend to my pigs...you can...well you caneat eat what is left of the pigs food. I know it is notthe greatest offer, but it is something to eat and some place warm to sleep. What do you say?" I took the job. I kept that job for three years.
One dayI decided to take a walkto the market center and I was a truck pull up, and watched as some of my father's servant passed out food to the people there. I hide my self because I did not want them to see me diry and skinny. I watched as the people cheered and sang how great and loving my father and brotherwas. I cried. I cried the whole way back to the sickly pig's pen. Around two days later, while I was playing with the pigs, Dana, and Coco, a man approached me and took my hand, shaking it as if I saved his life. The man said, with the biggest, cheesiest, smile I had ever seen, " Thank you, thank you." "Woe, hold on what is this about?" I asked. You saved my life. About a two years ago I saw you throw some seeds into my front yard, I collected them and planted them in my back yard. So many tomatoes grew that first year,I was able to feed my family and some of my neighbors and send some to my mother. Plus the next year was even better! I used to think that you was just some drunk, selfish bastard, but now I can see that you are you father's son. I'll never forget you, you have helped so many people, you my good man are a true king." That is when it hit me, here I am starving, living and sleeping in a pig pen, feeling like a failer, when I could be working my father's field, bringing in more food so that more could be feed. I then prepeared a whole speach to ask my father for forgiveness and a job, and then started the long walk back home. While I was far off I was a figure walking towards me, and soon realized that it was my father. Teary eyed I started my plea and before I could finish, my father said "I know son, I know." As we walked back to his, our house I told him everything, and after I had finished pouring out my heart, he said three words that I will never forget. "I understand son." At the house he told one of his servants to get me a robe and to place the family ring on my finger. This ring ment that I was to be king. I asked him how I would be king if my eldest brother was to be king. He said, "You are now co-heir to MY kingdom, to rule WITH your brother." I cried again, this time like a baby, and my father and oldest brother held me tight, and we all cried. Then my father claped his hand and told a servant near by to slaughter a calf and to play some music, and we sang and danced and cried for hours.
One of my other brothers heard the music and came to the house to see what was going on. After seeing the party, he asked my father, "What is happening?" My father said,"Your brother has come home!" My brother then said, "But you have never thrown me a party." My father said to him " My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and IS found!"
This is my story, a story of how a seed that my father gave me lead me home. Thank you Father God, and thank you Big Brother Jesus. Amen.
© Copyright 2016 Tyrone Slade. All rights reserved.
Poem / Religion and Spirituality
Poem / Memoir
Poem / Memoir
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