A Drifter's Plead (Dedicated to my Family)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Made into something I'm not; being forced to do something I don't want to do...
I don't want to be what they want me to be... I just want to be me...

Submitted: August 06, 2010

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Submitted: August 06, 2010

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(Dedicated to my family)

Involuntarily made to submit

Inhumane are their commands and desperate is my soul,

And on this dreaded path if indiscretion

I go.

Questioning, crying,

But no answer, no comprehension,

Hands are reaching out to save me,

But oblivious are my eyes to their protection.

Oh Lord! I am not ready

For what the world asks of me,

Why do I shed tears uncontrollably?

When to them, it is just a façade they see?

My own wants are unattended,

My own desires are meaningless to others,

And the one thing that gives me comfort

Is being taken away from me.

Tell me then, why should I yield to them?

Was I made only to please?

When this heart was wounded and broken,

Was there someone who reached out to me?

Why Thou art so cruel?

You take away all that matters to me,

Leaving me to crawl,

And beg on my knees for mercy.

This life is hopeless and so am I

Can’t I just be what is inside of me?

I won’t change no matter how much they try

I won’t be straightened, I would only flee.

They have made me a puppet to dance to their wishes

My strings will be guarded till eternity.

But how can You let all this happen?

Can’t You see the injustice being done upon me?

So Lord! Give me a voice

And make me human

Hear my call;

A drifter’s plead!

There's no peace, no serenity, or even uniqueness that has my world enveloped. There is no satisfaction, no promises of help, or consolation, none to grieve with me in this mundane shallowness. I am alone! Always was and always will be.

An exclusive being, overshadowed with sorrows, attracting pain with short lived ecstasy. I am ME! Shattered, broken, and ripped apart! There's no dual, no sharer, only me. Wrinkled, wretched, and withered...my life!

I beg you to understand me, to try to comprehend me. To reach into my thoughts, reach into my heart, try to listen. I have a voice, hear it! I have feelings, feel me! There's a hole in my heart and my eyes are numb with pain, see me! HELP ME!

Don't leave me, don't be angry, don't notice the things I do wrong, try to acknowledge the things I try to do right. I am a mere human being. I make mistakes, I make the wrong decisions, I trust the wrong people, but that's just me, accept me!

Believe in me; believe in my ambitions, my dreams. Trust me, for once! Forgive me, once again!

I'm sorry for the things I did that hurt you. I'm sorry for the things that I did that hurt ME but angered YOU! I'm sorry for the times I got into trouble, and you were there to scold me. You protected me, and broke me. You gave me happiness and made me cry. You were with me and I felt lonely. You listened and I felt I never had a voice. You helped me and I felt helpless!

I'm not perfect, I will never be! Stay with me, I need you! Look, here's a tear. Watch it fall down; see how it wets my cheek. And hours after you touch my face, traces of those tears would still be found.

I am weak, I don't have much strength. My willpower is not strong, and I'm not cruel. I forgive the people who hurt me, but you make them eternal enemies. My heart is not savage, but you tell me to hate them. Understand my heart, if not my tears. See, it wants to be of gold, wants to forgive. God is Merciful, let me be too!

Let me come out of my shadow, let me shine! Give me my space, let me live! Help me, but don't own me. Let me learn through my own mistakes. And even if I do not learn, accept my failures, let me be who I am! I am a LOSER! This is the reality, embrace it!

Life is too short, and you tell me to live it for myself. But I have given up my life for others. No one helped me, but let me help them. I know how it’s like when there's no one, I know how it’s like when nobody listens, let me be a listener. Let me become a cause of someone else's happiness. I wasn't saved, but let ME save someone!

I heard, "when you lose a friend, you die a little". I have lost friends, I have tasted death. Let me give life to the ones who are about to experience the same. For once, let me do something right. I know you consider it wrong, but for me helping Allah's creations is what gives me peace. No one sheds tears for me. But I have countless in me, let me shed it for others. Let others know that there is someone who still cares. Someone who, if nothing else, can listen!

Don't worry about me, I have accepted these pains. All I want is YOU to understand me! Let me be me. Let me live. I am not your property; don't consider me to be ruled. The more you will try to straighten me, the more I’ll bend. Stop trying. Make me stop crying. I am tired! End this once and for all!


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