Façade

You say that you don’t like me,

Well I don’t like me either.

You say that my stupid endeavors are irritating.

That the seemingly happiness and laughter I bring to others is unnecessary

Tell me, have you seen beneath their mask?

Do you know what life they live?

I do not say that I do know what pain they carry,

Nor do I say that I live through their lives every day.

However, I know the depth of darkness and deceit,

The intolerable voice right within me.

This emptiness is filled with sorrow and defeat.

A façade that no one else can see.

When my annoying antics bring laughter and happiness,

For at least one second that pain is no longer there.

If for a moment I can give that to someone else,

I can stop them from becoming me.

Nonetheless, you do not like me.

And I do not like me either.

I know and understand every action I do.

I know how annoying and ridiculous I come out to.

Everything I do has always been for you.

So in this world, you do not become like me.

Words are harsh, but the mind is wicked.

You have never been my enemy.

I love you and will continue to.

But what can I say about myself.

You may not like me.

But I don’t like me either.

That is why, if I can keep up this façade of this smiling, carefree me,

The clown of the town for others to see.

You will never have to become me.

Twisted and broken inside.

A constant rambling of nothingness throughout your time.

A waste of energy without moving for a dime.

I am my own enemy.

I am my own hate.

And you say don’t like me.

Well, I can’t find a way of liking me.