What I have become Part 1

Reads: 232  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Two years ago I was a completely innocent person always taking things aside, laughing at times I never expected what would happen to me. But then a small spark of things transformed me into a beast what I wasn't before. Read along this pretty short story about the tale of what happened to me and brought me to good fate.

P.S. I got the image from http://www.stuartwakefield.com/blog/?p=774 , all copyright laws reserved.

Submitted: September 04, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 04, 2012




It was a battle not fit for even the mightiest of soldiers. But somehow, I prevailed. 


It was when ages passed that I was enraged with anger at the time when I couldn't take it anymore. The demonic spirit in my soul has caused me to do things I never wished for, I raged at times and the people around me couldn't help but scold me for things the spirit inside me never could face, no tears would fall, but my blood would boil, the anger inside me within had gone to its maximum when I lost my soul two years ago.


Two years ago I was a completely innocent person always taking things aside, laughing at times I never expected what would happen to me. Times of those smiles were real, happiness was right siding with me, the sun would shine, the birds would chitter, the rainbows seemed so real but never had I thought the unthinkable would strike, the sanity would disappear. I was but a mere child laughing, playing, not a care for anything in the world, not a care for anything at all. I would tear at the feeling of sadness, frown at times when wrong was not justified, frown when I was sad all the time. When fear would strike I would run terrified from my demonic side. Believe monsters would hide underneath my bed, nightmares would take over, the darkness would grasp its arms around me hugging me tightly. And through the years the cynic I never have dreamt I kept growing. Evil kept crawling more and more through my skin, the dark inside my shadows and soul. I tried to run from it, I tried to escape what fate has brought upon me. But through time the evil would surpass my levels of innocence. As the worse kept coming, the good kept fading. Slowly I became the demon I tried to runaway from, the levels of aggression rose, the care for nothing became the care for insincerities, the thoughts of happiness became sealed within the deepness of my black devilish heart. I am a living demon amongst my peers, not trusting anyone of anything, trying to escape my horrifying dark feelings of my locked past. 


My Shadow has become me, my darkest fear is not humanity anymore, my deepest fear is myself, what I have evolved into. Pretending people can help restore myself has become a myth, because people are too busy running away from my furious monstrous side that overcomes what I have been. By time and time I become more of a living nightmare, fantasy dreams are nothing but a joke. Time has gotten to me and so has the fear of what I never hoped to be. The end is far away from being close. My heart, my mind, my soul, all trapped away, all gone, all over. Trapped within this demon, the small hope of me becoming what I used to be is there. A small spark of things can help me transform into what I was before, but that small hope is not to be found anytime soon, would need the special help. The times of therapy would just waste time, the hope of socializing is all lost, being the cynic I am, I fail to see what good can come of things. The voices speak to me, talk to me, laugh at me constantly as they see me fall at the times of aid. The loneliness gets to me as I try to forget what is what I truly am, what I truly have become. My dignity fell off ages ago, along with my courage, along with my hopes and dreams. But as I look across the ways, the good side in me still smiles in hope of being reactivated once more, I wonder to myself is this really who I am? 


In a battle of wits between good and bad, as good and bad fight to the death, it brings me down to my knees thinking of what truly might actually happen to me. I look at the memories of good, and I realize to myself I'm not the demonic person I really think I am, I smirk and laugh as I am helpless as my heart pumps louder and faster, faster and harder. I look at the ways I used to think, the ways I used to feel, and bam. It hits me, this isn't who I really am. Society isn't how it used to be, but this is not who I am. I realize, I need the people who care about me in life and run to them. Inside my soul good and bad fight shaking me helplessly as I run to those who care about me. My good voice speaks to the devilish me, saying the lyrics that I heard from music I used to listen to when I needed. The song three days grace it's all over, spoke to me,  "And now you're dead inside, still you wonder why, when you're on the edge of falling off, It's all over FOR YOU! I fell down while running, only to fall unconscious, only to portray an image of myself, the angelic side of, and the devilish side of me both looking at me. I fall in the middle of them where they both seem to be using supernatural powers of them and I find a magical sword half white half black, in the middle, terrified by what's happening I run to pick it up, some voice tells me, with this sword you can choose wisely which side of you really should deserve to live. I try to think as much as I can, as the pressure of the weapon gets to me, and so does the fight of my sides. I think to myself, whether to kill the angelic side of me or the devilish side. The angelic side of me was weak, easy prey for everyone to stalk upon me, but was calm, happy, nice, full of feelings, weak but full of feelings. The devilish side of me was a hard cruel pathetic person, no love, no respect for anyone, but tough to defeat, tough to stop. The time came now to decide whether to have feelings of pity and love for people who will make me weak and what I was into, or be the toughest one alive, rule humanity, but have no one to live with, alone, pathetic. 


Either way I was going to end up alone, but the choice was difficult whether to live alone and happy, or alone and powerful. I didn't have much time left so I decided I would run up and talk to both and see who would bring me back to the sane person I was, feeling both sides was no good, so I had to eliminate one of them for good. "STOP!" I yelled as they were too busy fighting, both sides of me stopped in their tracks. They both looked at me in fear as I had the sword that could kill them both easily. I thought to myself I should ask them a few questions to determine which one I should leave alive."If you were to get blamed for nothing what would you do?" I asked my angelic side, "I would say it wasn't me and justify it with reasons why I couldn't have done it", replied my angelic side. "Now how about you?" I asked my devilish side, "I would go and blame it on someone else, find the easiest way out of the situation." The reply of my devilish side wasn't impressive, it was also the cowardly way out of things, but I didn't put him on the hook yet. After tons of questions I decided what I was going to do, So then I picked up my sword and the deed was done. 


I killed the devilish side of me, but left tons of scars on my angelic side, which would quickly heal, with a message telling it that if were ever attacked to stand up for itself, and take up nothing that the people drive towards me, but always leave those that are innocent. The angelic side in pain replied "Thank you." It would take days before the angel side healed, but the angelic side learned a lesson. As for my devilish side, I have not seen the last of it, for it will crawl up again and surprise me in times, but the angelic side will be stronger then, at that moment like always good triumphed over evil.

© Copyright 2018 UltimateImaginer. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:




More True Confessions Short Stories

Booksie 2018 Poetry Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by UltimateImaginer

Popular Tags