I'm Home, Again

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
What if you could stay in the same place, forever?
What if there was a price you had to pay? A time you had to keep going back to. A world, you had to watch end, over and over.

Submitted: March 23, 2008

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 23, 2008



I stood at the door of the house, my lungs failing to work for me.

My long needed breath had been taken away once again.

The state of what used to be my home had become so detestable; it stung my eyes to see the result of the passing years. I had been so careful in assigning its care and protection. As I stood looking, I questioned why my wishes had been ignored.

The rich, deeply colored redwood of the house's outer walls had become a dingy gray. Most of the windows had been sealed by wooden planks, and the glass in those that remained free had been broken, or was completely gone.

There were so many scratches and dents on the now decaying oak door that I could easily imagine the attacks it may have suffered; attacks that should have never taken place.

As I examined the house, I found only one piece of my home that had remained as it once was. My sunset — the plank of wood that took me months to carve and shape. Oddly, it  remained untouched above the door. Not a gouge; not a scratch; not any sign of rot could I find. I silently thanked the stars for this little bit of peace among the chaos.

As I stood, watching the carved sun eternally setting behind its wooden clouds, a sudden urgency came over me. A sudden anxiety.

I knew, without doubt, that I needed to see the inside my home.

Without pondering this feeling, my legs began to move on their own, and my body stepped through the doorway. I'd not thought it odd at the time that I had not bothered to open the door.

How deeply sad, I thought, as I looked upon the main room of the sanctuary of my days. So many memories in my mind that could not match these debauched surroundings. So many hours of peace that were now - how many decades away from this time? I couldn't recall.

The walls had become diseased, with their rectangular and oval charges now shattered on the rotting wood floor. All were once so beautiful to behold. My once strong pieces of furniture, that were the objects of envy for rulers and friends, had now become not much more that the dust of insects' homes.

The glory of my hearth, that had warmed me many times, was nothing more than rubble. Its accenting portrait that had once hung above was now torn and broken, with its image as departed as the spirit of its subject - my love, my wife.

So much destruction that should have never occurred! How did it happen, and why?

I hung my head, covering my face with my hands, and opened wide my mouth to accommodate the shouting I felt inside. My desperate scream could be heard throughout the house. It mingled with the wind that had arisen outside, as I heard the chiming echoes as one, excruciated voice.

Yet, as I fell to my knees and began to weep, I realized that no breath had escaped my lips to call forth the pain of my thoughts; nor had my anguished shout actually left my throat.

I wept, not only for the loss of my home, but also for the time I must have been away from it. The number of years that must have gone by.

The ignorance and apathy of those I'd left in charge.

I stayed crumpled onto my knees. For minutes.

For hours. For days.

Who knows?

I had no way to keep track of the time that must have been passing by. What seemed like an eternity moved around me before I again rose to my feet.

I slowly brought my hands from my face as I rose, opening my eyes, and was filled was terror — with absolute fear! Before my eyes was no longer my home, but instead was an area completely strange to me!

My walls had completely faded away, and I was surrounded by open air. The rotting floor beneath my feet was completely gone, and in its stead was nothing but grass, and weeds. I quickly looked around, and saw that the walls of my home had been replaced with a forest of pine and oak trees, and the foliage that grew about them. These surrounded a heap of rubble and decay. Though at first I did not know what the ruin was, I soon recognized at my feet the plaque from above my door. It sat, helplessly in the debris, as unchanged and unscathed itself as it had always been.

In my shock, I knelt down to lift it to me, but could not. Though it was there, and though I knew it was real, my grasp would not hold. My hands passed through it, and felt as though one pool of water had passed through another. They left decaying ripples in each other that quickly dispersed.

There was no wind on the air, but I instantly felt the chill in my spine.

I quickly stood, staring at the plaque, and afraid of what may be happening to me. On the ground beneath my feet, a line of ants danced in the light of the sun. They passed through the toes in my shoes as though neither could exist.

Perhaps they didn’t.

In fear and loathing I backed away.

“It can not be true! It CAN NOT be true!” my thoughts and wishes screamed within my mind. I closed my eyes, and shook my head. I opened my lids and saw the ruin around me again.

“No. No! NO!” I yelled, though no breath escaped me to hold up the voice that now echoed through the trees.

My hands reached up, and grabbed at my eyes, the palms gouging deeply to wipe the thoughts and feelings away.

When my hands removed themselves, I opened my eyes again. A great, but quickly fading blur had covered my sight; yet through the blur, I could see the ruins that were at one time my home had vanished away.

In confusion and fear I looked to my feet. The dirt beneath them had passed away, replaced by a type of stone that I had never seen; long, and wide; black, and hard, yet still slightly soft.

I looked for the ruins, but they were not there.

I looked higher. The trees and growth of the woods around me had disappeared, replaced with open space.

I looked to the distance. In it I saw a wide stone castle. On the castle's side was written a word in gigantic letters I could not understand. I took it as a sign of ingenious evil. Underneath this word was the largest window I had ever laid my eyes upon, with what could only be some type of doorway nestled in the center of the window’s lowest half.

Near this castle were metal creations and creatures of numerous shapes and sizes, in colors that would confuse and contradict the flowers of the field.

Moving between the castle and the strange metal creatures were what looked like people, yet their style of dress was so odd! They would have surely been burned as witches by the ignorant and the scared.

For a fleeting moment, I wondered what those reverends, as well as their followers, in my world would have done had they known the truth. A smirk momentarily pierced my face. Those poor, mistaken fools. I should have opened their eyes. Then, I realized that if their eyes had been opened, they would be as fearful as I was in this moment.

As my mind wandered, I only slightly noticed, and only slightly cared, that the various metal creations appeared to move, as if some unseen force gently pushed them from behind.

Soon, much too quickly, the light of the sun gave way to the twinkling of the stars in the night, and the night gave way to the brightness of the day. I lifted my head to see the clouds drifting above.

How beautiful, I just had time to think, before the bright blue of the day-lit sky faded to make way for the darkness of another night.

As I continued to look above, puzzled by the changes that continued to take place, I suddenly noticed a strange bird flying across my view. Just as the letters of the castle were unrecognizable to me, I couldn't find this strange bird anywhere in my memory.

It was long and thin. It's wings did not move, but were frozen in place, as was its tail. I could find no feathers as my eyes searched its body.

Its screech rumbled, and wouldn't stop as it gave great pain to the entrails of my ears! It seemed to scream with thunder in its voice, making me think it to be wounded as it flew.

As the strange bird pierced the center of my sight, I began to hear a kind of whistle. Strange, and disconcerting. Quietly I heard the whistle at first.

For only an instant, I thought the bird had begun to try to sing.

But as I continued to watch and listen, I caught sight of what appeared to be a small dot approaching me from between the clouds, as the mysterious bird vanished from my view.

As the dot approached, it seemed to slowly grow in its width, and the sound of what must be its whistle grew steadily worse.

I now believed that this dot was an egg dropped by the strange bird, and its whistle - the audible shadow of its decent, like the echo of a cannon ball propelled through the air. Yet, this bird's "weapon" was becoming very real to me, as it fell from straight above my body.

As I thought it would create an new entrance to my head just above my eyes, it passed effortlessly through my entire being, as though I were not there.

With the noise of thousands upon thousands of guns and cannons, and a light as bright as the sun itself, the egg collided with the spot on which I stood. In uncontrolled fear I covered my face, not understanding how the simple breaking of an egg could create such a noise, as a great heat encompassed me! Yet, I felt no burn.

When the heat had become cold, and the light became darkness again, I uncovered my face. As my sight adjusted to the change in light, and my view turned downward, I found that the black stone beneath my feet had now become blackened earth. There were no longer castles or magical metal creatures in the distance, and in the air was a heaviness, and the feeling of great despair.

Uncertainty swallowed my heart. With fear, I turned around to survey this latest change to the world, and was met with the sight of a great storm quickly moving toward me from the east.

Before my mind could accept this new, horrific sight, the storm overtook me! I felt myself easily lifted from the ground, and thrown into the sky!

The air spun and twisted around me as I ascended. I could see the clouds as they distorted, then dispersed, and disappeared. I could see the stars above me as they, and what seemed and felt like the entire universe, revolved quickly around my now aching body; and only now did I realize that I had no actual body only moments before!

When I could stand the sights, and the feelings, and my terrified thoughts no more, I tightly closed my eyes and screamed!

Instantly, I felt a calm encompass me.

Very slowly, I began to open my eyes. The storm, in all its unforgiving fury, was gone. Along with it, the stars, and the complete world I had last seen. In its place were tall trees, and a dark, clouded sky.

I stood upon the ground; and recognized the solid dirt of the earth my feet had touched many times before.

The forest I stood within wretched memories from deep within my mind. I quickly turned, and found the heavily traveled path leading to my home.

Vivid memories flooded my mind. I easily, painfully remembered charging my nephew with the care of my home. I remembered the men, those ignorant souls, from deep within the center of the town, carrying their guns, and leading me a great distance to the courthouse.

I saw in my mind the reverend, and heard him accuse me of witchcraft, as I took some pleasure in thinking to myself that he had finally found one who was actually guilty of the act.

I saw the reverend's too-often misled congregation testify against me, though most who proclaimed themselves cursed by me would not have lived long enough to do so if I had truly chosen them as victims.

I heard the verdict of guilt, and the laughter that I could not stop from coming to my mouth.

Rapidly, my mind was transported to the flames - the great heat that began to consume my body! In my final moments, when my flesh was burned, and I could feel no more pain - in the moments before my life was gone, I spoke with my charred and blackened mouth the only words I could think of to bring forth.

I had seen the words many times in my family's books, yet had hoped the need to use them would never arise. Words that would allow me to return to my home unscathed, and unafraid that the fear of others would affect me again.

How I wish now that I had but one more second! Simply one moment more to finish the final words that stayed their last syllables upon my tongue. Perhaps then I'd have the ability to transcend this eternal prison I've created! Perhaps I'd not be forever cast into this circle of time; always ending where it once began, and beginning at its end.

I’d felt myself floating from the fire, and into a great, brilliant tunnel.

The brightness of its end was magnificent!

I'd begun to travel toward it, mystified by its beauty, and wanting desperately to become a part of it.

Then, the words I had managed to utter, and the partial words I regret never ending, began to echo through the chasm, their volume quickly increasing. As they grew louder, the vortex around me quickly began to slow; to fade, and disappear.

The light that enticed me began to dim, and fade into the darkened clouds of the sky beyond and above, leaving me standing here, at the opening of this path.

I quickly caught my breath. As I did that first time I appeared here, and many times since, I began to follow the path, anxious to see the state of my home, and the sunset I had made for the door so long ago. As I did, the memories of what had transpired to set me here began to fade, then become nothing more than a whisper in the night.

Breathing deeply, as though I had just been released from a sealed tomb, I came upon the entrance to my house.

As I settled my feet, a realization came to me that I would never know what had occurred between my death and my return to allow the misery of my home to take seed and grow. Nor would I ever be able to make it right.

Then it passed away.

I stood at the door of the house, my lungs failing to work for me.

My long needed breath had been taken away once again.

The state of what used to be my home had become so detestable; it stung my eyes to see the result of the passing years. I had been so careful...

I had been so careful...

I had been...



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