Equinox
“Come back to earth,”
They said.
I tried;
On the way down I started to fly-
Just until I broke through the atmosphere.
That fake mirror like sky;
The teasing,
"You’ll never reach me," sky.
It had to be a dream.
Oh, poor me.
The world keeps on spinning;
I guess I have to spin too.
I just feel there’s much more to do;
Like dream or run away.
All this spinning's making me dizzy;
Yet here I am,
Stuck in one place.
How can I explore or get away?
I can't see clearly;
Everything merges together.
I’m spinning so fast
It all becomes one still picture.
An artistic looking thing.
But the world’s not pretty.
Not anymore.
I stared too long;
It became a bore.
Now I just see empty cities
And there’s nobody but me.
I'm stuck in some parallel dimension,
I'm with them,
Yet,
I'm not with them.
I wonder if they can see me.
Sometimes I can see them
But I glitch in and out.
For a split second
I see a colorful, laughing crowd-
Then I blink and blackout.
The next second,
There's no sound.
Everything's black and white,
Except the clouds-
They are gray.
Sometimes I come and go as I please,
Other times, it's not up to me.
It’s some sort of matrix
Or I'm just crazy.
This curse;
Spending all my sad life on earth
Only to find it was just a dream-
That I'm still falling aimlessly.
In space
I lost my way.
I'm some hybrid;
A human alien.
I know I don't belong here.
This is not my home.
I don't know where I belong,
But this isn't even close.
I live on a narrow road-
Far, far away
Over the rainbow,
Outside the recommended zone.
Kind of like a wandering ghost.
It’s some kind of life
Where the sun's about to set all of the time,
But it just sits there;
A melancholy light.
Submitted: April 07, 2016
© Copyright 2021 unmasked delusions. All rights reserved.
Comments
This just oozes style and really cements such a bittersweet tone, mixing pleasant imagery with gradually more faded imagery, and by the end - as a result - you've really immersed your readers in some powerful feelings.
Sun, April 10th, 2016 8:49pmThis is wonderful. I'm so glad I read it. :)
The imagery totally fades from extremely bright to something more disillusioned.
"The fake mirror-like sky," I loveeeee this line! It reminds me of looking to the sky, for like sky-things: stars that symbolize goals, the blue sky, wind, freedom and hope, peace--- and getting this hazy, horrible reflection of ugly smog ridden cities instead. It's like, trying to be hopeful, but only receiving the present blights. Such a real sentiment! I seriously love that line! :D
"Stuck spinning" reminds me of all of the different cycles that people, families, generations get stuck in- poverty, teen pregnancy, not graduatin from college. It's hard to get out of those kind of cycles.
Loneliness is something that I deal with on the daily basis. That's hard too. But there's a certain kind of power in being content by yourself. :)
Just a tiny suggestion!
I feel like this line:
"I'm with them, yet....I'm not with them," would be better without the second "with them," as in "I'm with them yet.... I'm not." Ah. Ah? Nah? Just a suggestion. :)
"I glitch in and out," really love the imagery of this line too. I imagine like--- a TV screen that wiggles and spazzes out from black and white and color, but like, a person, instead :)
Youbreally get a sense of not belonging and disillusion near the end. A bleak sun, wandering ghost. Fantastic imagery! :D
Wonderful job. :)
Author
Reply
Fake mirror liked sky was also meant to symbolize the looking glass and what not, I'm glad you liked that line, I did too :) Exactly, being content with yourself is a major accomplishment ha. I like your suggestion. I'll read it over and see what it sounds like. Thanks so much for reading and such a nice comment
Wed, April 13th, 2016 8:28amOut-standing ! In every sense of the term !
Wed, April 20th, 2016 3:25pmI really loved this. To me it captured the confusions of life, of how the good can change to bad, how one moment you're okay and the next feel so isolated and alienated. I don't know if that is what you intended but that is how it hit me.
Fri, June 10th, 2016 7:08pmFacebook Comments
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H. Adams
Love love love this, unmasked. I feel like you put yourself in the shoes of an equinox, traced your steps through the galaxy, observing the things around you. The opinion on the Earth is one that I share, as I think it's lost its shine. You always are incredible with figurative language and this doesn't fault; expertly wrought poem :)
Fri, April 8th, 2016 10:10pmAuthor
Reply
Thanks a lot :) glad u liked it so much
Fri, April 8th, 2016 3:14pm