The Pianist Daydream

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
"Sometimes, you have to let your imagination run free in order to keep your sanity."
Diesel was having a bit of a midlife crisis at 25. He worked at a job he hated, was tired of dating games, and had a roommate that had more boyfriends in a week than Diesel had ever had in his lifetime. But after a night out,momentary hope was restored and his dreams come true.

Submitted: March 29, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 29, 2015



To be honest, I never wanted to go. A friend of mine dragged me with him to ultimately be their third wheel so that things wouldn't be so awkward between the person whose name I couldn't bother to remember and himself. We went to a light dinner at a resteraunt around the corner from our apartment where the conversation had been, to be blunt, boring. The whole time Dorien's date talked about traveling to backwater towns no one has ever heard of nor cared about, then proceeded to show us his "professional" pictures he took on his iPhone. Several of them were of abandoned homes with different filters and some I hate to admit were kind of impressive. One that stood out to me was of a homeless woman sitting on a graffitied wooden bench, clutching onto her dog as if he were her anchor. The little dog smiled happily at the camera and I remember wishing I were as loved as that dog.

We walked a couple blocks to the community playhouse where the artist had rented the place out for the night, obviously on a budget. I had been there a couple times to attend productions my friends had been in and I can't say I was impressed with the place. The walls were painted a baby-puke green and the floor looked like cheap plywood, but the shows made up for the less than pleasant location.

That night, Quinton Alexander was performing pieces he wrote himself. I had never heard of him since I rarely listened to classic music, but apparently Quinton was a friend of a friend of Dorien's, so naturally we had to go. On Saturdays I usually spent my time indoors purposely avoiding interaction, so to go out that night felt weird, kind of like exploring uncharted territory. The night sky was a clear deep blue with a sprinkling of shining stars and people were bustling about, smiling and laughing. I had never seen so many happy people and I kind of liked it.

"Hey, you guys go ahead and get our seats. I'm gonna smoke before it starts," I said to my roommate. They nodded and almost synchronized, slightly bowed their heads in polite greeting to a group of people waiting outside. I grinned at how much alike they were;  courteous to perfect strangers and assholes to people they know. Still smiling like a fool, I stepped off the curb and crossed the street to a nearby park. Sitting on a plastic bench, I pulled a cigarette from my front pocket and lit it, watching all the couples pass by holding hands and chatting quietly. Normally, I would have turned my head in disgust because I never understood what love does to someone, yet for some reason I didn't. I watched them walk down the sidewalk, puffing on my cigarette, wondering how such a simple night out could make me feel something I couldn't describe. Hope, maybe?

Back at the playhouse, people began to filter inside and before getting in line I stomped out my cigarette, payed the fee, and found my seat next to Dorien, his date on the other side of him. White Christmas lights hung from the rafters and lit the stage with a soft glow. Everyone talked amongst themselves for a good five minutes before Quinton's arrival was announced aloud and we all hushed as the graceful man stepped onto the stage. He truly was the most beautiful man I had ever seen with his long arms and legs, the soft lighting exentuating sharp features and deep chestnut hair that sat in unruly waves, which he threw a black beanie over as he ran up the stairs that led to his piano. Bright eyes twinkled at us as he looked around the room, amazement at how big the crowd was tonight. 

"What a crowd!" He exclaimed, grabbing the mic from its stand and walking to the edge of the stage. He went on to talk about his pieces, but all I could do was stare in awe at such elegance trapped within one man. Everything about him made me swoon with pure desire I had never felt towards anyone ever in my life, so intense I had to restrain myself from jumping on the stage and taking him away. I loved the way he made me feel, like fire rushing through my veins. At some point, he began playing and that's when I let everything go. The music, his beauty, it was all too much. Everyone disappeared and it was just Quinton and I, alone together with nothing but his sound to keep us company. Slowly, I stood from my seat and walked to where he was, touching his shoulder. Holding out my hand, he took it after waving someone over to take over the music. I slid my hand down the small of his back, pulling him closer as he placed his hand on my neck and grazing his nails softly over my sensitive skin, setting my whole body ablaze. Fluently, I dipped him backwards while he wrapped his slender leg around my waist, leaving his milky white neck exposed. I bent my head down and nuzzled it with my nose, then I let my tongue snake onto his Adams apple before I gently bit down on his smooth flesh, earning a small gasp that had escaped between thin lips. Quinton unwrapped himself and leaned us forward, our foreheads pressed together firmly and eyes closed in sweet ecstasy. He guided me backwards a few steps, holding my hand and spinning me along the way before pulling me roughly against him, my backside pressed securely against him. I felt his lips against my neck while one hand held my arms to my chest and the other wound around my hips. Not being able to take it anymore, I spun quickly and lifted him up, waiting for him to wrap his legs around me. Once I knew he was fastened, my hands rested surely under his taught buttocks, I spun in a slow circle, his hands on my cheeks burning fiercely deep into my bones. Putting his feet on the ground, he leisurely slid his strong hands down my chest and brought his face closer as if to tell me something.

"Diesel, you ass," he said.

Suddenly, everything came back and once again I was back in the shitty room full of people clapping, some even leaving.

"Diesel, it's time to go. Blaze invited us to the after party so if you want to go we better hurry before everyone takes all the parking spots."

I sighed, feeling a little disappointed that none of it was real even though it was pretty insane to think any of that could ever happen. I dream too much.

Outside, I pulled another cigarette from my pocket and got a snicker from Dorien and his date. Holding out my pack to them I smiled sarcastically and said "Want one?"

Dorien rolled his eyes and put his arm around his date, whose name I think was Jed or something of the sort. "Don't mind him; he gets overly cynical sometimes."

Ignoring his need to explain me to his boytoy of the week, I dragged deep on my cigarette and felt my new sense of hope fading with each plume of smoke I blew from my nose. Seeing such a talented and gorgeous man made me realize that I was in a museum; look but don't touch. It was frustrating to know I probably would never have someone like Quinton and I'd probably have to settle for less when I wanted so much more. I wanted him?????. 

"Hello?! Earth to Diesel!"

"What?" I said, not listening to anything but my angsty thoughts.

"Jeez, what is your problem tonight? You're acting all weird and daydreamy," Dorien practically yelled, looking at me with fake concern. "Are you sure you want to go to the party?"

I nodded nonchalantly with the cigarette dangling from my lips, knowing who exactly would be there.

Back at the apartment, I changed into fitted jeans and a plain white v-neck shirt, slipping on a plain black varsity jacket to tie the outfit together. I found a black beanie similar to the one Quinton was wearing and put it on over my straight ginger hair. My beard was short and stubbly, but worked well with my face. I slipped on a black pair of shoes that sat in my closet since my office job required us to dress professionally and canvas shoes were not ideal for a workspace where no one will ever see us besides our coworkers. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my room and walked into the kitchen where there was alcohol, which I needed badly. Drinking from the bottle, I sat on the couch with my legs propped on the arm and called out to Dorien.

"Hey, are you ready? I want to get back before 11."

"Why? You gonna turn into a pumpkin?" He asked, coming out of his bedroom with Jed trailing behind him, both of them changed into casual outfits. I caught the two eyeing me with hungry eyes, obviously not used to me dressed in more modern clothes. "Getting drunk now, are we?"

"I just need a little courage," I replied, grabbing the keys from the kitchen countertop and making my way to the door. In the car, the couple in the back complained the whole way there about my drinking while driving, but after ensuring them I wouldn't be driving home they shut their mouths. More than anything I just wanted to get drunk so I could forget the embarrassment of dreaming so deeply about Quinton then realizing I could never have him. Successful people like him don't give bottom-feeders like me the time of day.

"Hey, Dorien! What's up, man?" Blaze shouted from the doorway of the house where the party was being thrown. I had met Blaze a couple times before, but never understood what my roommate saw in such a loser that spends all day smoking his life away, living on the fortune his grandfather had left to him after years of working his ass off. 

"Not much. This is Jed, and you've met Diesel. Excuse him if he makes an ass of himself. He's been drinking."

"Nice to meet you, Jed," he said, surprisingly civilized. He turned to me and patted my back a little too hard for comfort. "Diesel, my man. It's been a while. How you been?"

I smiled as fakely as I could and patted his back even harder. "Still working my shitty job, but I'm making it."

"Ah, that's the spirit. Well, there's drinks inside, but I see you brought your own," he remarked, eyeing my bottle judgingly. "And Quinton's in there if you wanna meet him. He's a real awesome guy." Someone behind us yelled Blaze's name and he wandered off with a nod and a smile, thank God. That guy never failed to test my patience.

The three of us walked into the house where almost everyone was drinking and talking loudly about nothing in particular. Dorien excused himself to go talk to some of his other friends, taking Jed with him and leaving me alone with my almost empty bottle which I finished it off, grabbed another full bottle from a counter without bothering to look if anyone was watching and stepped out onto the seemingly empty balcony. I strolled over to the rail and leaned on it with my elbows, downing liquor as if it were water. 

"Rough night?"

I turned around quickly, startled and almost lost my balance. A shadow got up from a chair in the corner I hadn't seen before and walked over to where I was standing, taking up the same position I was in before he nearly gave me a heart attack. It was too dark to see who it was and I was too drunk to focus on anything. 

"I know I'm having one."

I looked at the bottle in my hand, then passed it to him without a word. Accepting it, the figure opened it and downed it just as easily as I had. Once he handed it back, I set it on the rail and lit a cigarette.

"What's your name?" He asked.

I exhaled a cloud of smoke and watched it swirl in the wind, making weird shapes. I pulled the cigarette from my mouth and passed it to the man beside me. "Does it matter?" I said flatly.

He shrugged. "I guess not." He took a couple drags before passing it back. 



"My name," I said, my tongue heavy in my mouth. "Is Diesel."

He considered this for a minute, nodding as if contemplating something. "That's a badass name," he said and laughed softly.

I froze, recognizing his voice almost instantly. Immediately my heart started to race and I could feel my pulse in my neck beating hard, trying to escape. "So, uh... What's your name?" I asked awkwardly, already knowing the answer.

"Quinton," he said.

I tried so hard to act smooth and I thought I did pretty well, and I prayed that I masked my panic well enough for him not to notice. "Nice to meet you, Quinton." I stuck out my hand for him to shake, just like in my daydream when I invited him to dance with me to his own magical music. He looked at me skeptically while he shook my hand, sending electricity throughout my whole body. 

"You don't know who I am?"

"No, I do. I just thought you'd like to be treated like a normal person," I said cooly. Then smiled at him devishly and lightly nudged his shoulder with mine. "Unless you want me to be all over you like all the other women at your show." We laughed, then fell into comfortable silence. Oddly, it was easier to be with Quinton than I had thought once I got my shit together and stopped being the awkward hermit crab I had always been. If it weren't for the alcohol pumping through my veins I probably would have ran away before I even knew who he was when he had startled me, so I guess poison has some benefits.

"You know, you're the first person who has treated me... Like this. In a while, actually." I couldn't see his face, but when he turned towards me I knew he had a sad smile. Even though his problems were microscopic compared to other people's, I still felt a little bad for him. I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to be drooled over all the time and have everyone agree with everything you said, laughed at every joke you told, must get tedious. 

"Well, everyone's the same deep down. We're all humans; we have our demons, qualities no one knows about. Nobody should be put on a pedastool based on social status. No offense."

"None taken," he said slowly, thinking. "I have never heard anything so true in my life. You're a good man, Diesel. Very thoughtful."

I thanked God it was dark out because I blushed so hard my cheeks hurt from the burn. Not trusting myself to say anything without tripping over my words, I lifted the bottle in the air in salute and drank hard from it. 

"So, what brought you to my show?"

I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket and cleared my throat. "Blaze invited my roommate to the show, and Dorien brought his douche bag date with him. The only reason I went was so that things didn't get too awkward. Truthfully, I didn't expect much, but your performance... Was spectacular."

He looked at me, then hung his head. I could see a big grin plastered on his face. "That means a lot. Thank you."

"Any time, man."

We drank some more in relative silence, people chatting inside accompanying the chorus of frogs croaking their beautiful songs. It was truly peaceful. I became thankful that I didn't anticipate much for tonight because this beyond exceeded my expectations, making me feel as though I were floating on air with warm feelings I couldn't describe. It made me realize that I didn't have to try so hard to make myself happy, that something as simple as getting drunk and going to a show could make a huge difference in my life. 

"Diesel? You out here?" I heard Dorien ask from behind me. 

"Yep," I replied.

"We're leaving in a few. I'll meet you by the car."

The door slid shut and I turned toward Quinton, not wanting to leave. I sighed deeply. "Well, I guess it's time for me to turn in. You did amazing tonight, by the way. Keep it up and you'll make it big." I patted him on the back lightly and made my way toward the door. As I reached for the handle, I felt his hand on my shoulder gently pulling me into him, then his lips on mine. Complete shock registered before anything else and I stepped back, my heart racing. I studied him for a minute, wondering what in the hell just happened. Before I could collect myself, he was on me again, more violent this time. My hands rested in the deep curve of the small of his back while his were all over me; tangled in my hair, caressing my face, slipping under the hem of my shirt. They seared my skin like hot coals and made my heart skip several beats, my breath coming in shallow. He pulled away first this time and smiled at me, reaching up to readjust my hat.

"Call me tomorrow. Maybe we can go out." He slipped a piece of paper in my hand, gave me a brief kiss, and walked back to his seat in the dark corner. 

In the car, I couldn't stop grinning and staring down at the number in my hand.

Dorien looked at me from the passenger seat and asked if I had a good night.

I didn't even have to think about it. "I most certainly did."


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