What Happened to Us

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
Zamir returns to his lover's home to reminisce while his parents are away. I can't really say more I'd be giving it all away, but please read and drop a comment below on what you thought and what I should change. Enjoy!

Submitted: April 06, 2015

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Submitted: April 06, 2015



Everything spins in nauseating circles as I bend over to grab the key I know you kept hidden under the mat and let myself in quietly even though your parents are away on a trip to Florida and aren't due back for a couple days. Making my way up the stairs in my second home, I linger around the pictures of your happy family and stop at the one of us, hung proudly at the very top. Carefully, I take it off the wall and cradle the precious memory in my arms as I stumble down the hall to your room where I first discovered the true meaning of love and hope, understanding and patience. These four walls witnessed something blossom into eternal beauty and with my fingers I graze them lightly, wishing they would project our moments together like a movie theater. I could imagine hours of blissful recollection displayed for me to bask in, to remind me of the best thing I ever had. All that you had showed me and taught me left me breathless and I still haven't been able to catch my breath. I find myself wondering "was it real? Did I really have that?" Then I remember you; the way you smiled, the way you brought your hand over your heart when you laughed as if you were trying to trap that happiness forever. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing things. But what I know for sure is that what we had will be impossible to recreate.

Your bed is made up nicely and looks like it hasn't been disturbed in years, but the blanket is the same one you used when you were here. I climb on gently and hear the familiar groaned protest as I bury my face in your pillow, smelling shampoo and laundry soap. Everything about you has always overwhelmed me and something as little as your scent still sets my heart ablaze.

The accident happened over a year ago, but I can still feel the excruciating pain like I'm living in the crash itself everyday. We met at the bus stop just like every other morning and greeted each other with a kiss. The sun peaked over the hill and touched the side of your face with its golden glow, your skin looking even more radiant. You took my hand in yours shamelessly and turned towards me with your glorious half smile and my whole body tingled with pure electricity. I dropped my head, not able to look at your beauty for it was blinding.

Quietly, you spoke. "Zamir?"

"Yes, dear," I replied just as softly.

"I love you."

Instead of saying it back, I showed it by pulling you close and wrapping my arms over your strong shoulders, kissing and nibbling until we heard the loud engine of our bus. I kissed your knuckles and got on the bus, the driver nodding at us in polite greeting. We chose to sit in the middle of the bus, just us two since we were the first ones on. As we were going up the enormous hill, we chatted amongst ourselves until we heard strangled cry, followed by the feeling of floating in midair. Then it was dark.

Getting up from your bed, I go into your bathroom to further mesmerize myself with memories of you. Pictures of you and I border the mirror, most of them of us lying in your bed when we used to lie there while you pulled out your camera and took countless photos. I still remember a day in the summer when it was quite warm, so you opened the window to let the breeze in. The smell of clean laundry your mom had hung on the clothes line before she left wafted into your room and you knew it was my favorite scent. We spent the day making love and drinking wine from the cellar, knowing your parents wouldn't notice since their collection was so vast. I was smoking a cigarette on your bed, which was located by your window, when I heard the shutter of your camera. It's my favorite picture of myself. A big smoke cloud hung above my face and you captured it perfectly. As I'm inspecting the dozens of photos, I'm uncontrollably sobbing, begging God to take me back. He never does.

I woke up lying on my side. There was a terrible thumping noise in my head and when I tried to push myself up off the ground, I felt something tear in my shoulder and I screamed. I gripped my shoulder with my other hand, feeling unworldly pain. I was more than confused when I looked down and saw that I was standing on the window of the bus. Carefully turning to my left, I see you hanging over the backrest of a seat, blood dripping profusely from your mouth. I tried to get to you, I swear. But with my dislocated shoulder, I knew I had to save my strength so I could climb over the seats to call for help for you. I cried and cried as I climbed over seats, I cried for you. I loved you more than words can describe and to know I was losing you hurt so much I couldn't breathe. I laid on the windows because it hurt too much to bend over. I reached for the radio, growling with clenched teeth while my fingers stretched until the gripped the little device.

"Hello?" I shouted and whimpered when the thumping in my head turned white hot. I took the radio off its holder and crawled to you, but since you were draped over the seat and I stood on the window, I couldn't reach you. I tried so hard, but I just couldn't. "Please, oh God. Please help us."

I turn off the light in the bathroom and return to your room. Once again I get on your bed and lay on my back, slipping my hand into my pocket and pull out the cold plastic bottle. Opening it, I pour its contents into my mouth and swallow easily, then close my eyes and await my fate.

Suddenly, I hear the creak of your door and when I open my eyes I see you, standing with your arms at your side. 

"Am I dead?" I ask.

You walk a couple steps in, stopping in the middle of the room. "Come with me."

I stand up and follow you outside, all the way through the woods until we reach the Silent River. We named it that our freshmen year of high school because it's so still, so peaceful. It holds our secrets and probably other's too.

"Do you remember this place, Zamir?" You ask as we sit on the rock placed outside of the forest, facing the river where we had made love for countless hours beneath blue sky and starry sky. Or sometimes we would lay here, talking about nothing and everything. 

"Of course I do."

You nod your head. "Remember when we pitched our tent, just right over there?" You point to the other side of the river, clear of trees and miles of a meadow we never explored. 

"What are you trying to get at?" 

"That's when I truly fell in utter love with you, so strong that it scared me. I realized how special you were to me and that night I thought about what I'd do for you."

I look at you, shocked that I'm sitting right here with you after what felt like an eternity, yet nothing has changed. You still have striking blue eyes, such a chiseled chin, and a sharp nose. Your lips are still the same thin lips that I have kissed numerous times, tasted various flavors and I loved each one because they were on your lips. Your light brown hair still sits on your head perfectly styled, bangs brushed to the left. You have always been perfect.

"And what's that?" I whisper.


We both look towards the sun, golden rays touching your face the same way they did on the day we died. I may not have really died, but the biggest part of me did, which was you.

"Tyler?" I said quietly.

"Yes, dear," you replied just as softly.

"I love you."

We're silent just like our river. A deer runs through the meadow, stopping for just a moment to look at us, then continues its journey. You stand, holding your hand out to me, which I take, and we walk into the light of the sun.


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