As she sat alone in the swallowing darkness; staring helplessly into the emptiness around her, she struggled to gather the little air that could almost enter her nostrils. The tears slowly forced themselves out; gushing through her eyes and overwhelming her, while she fought her subconscious will to stop breathing.
She had spent over a fortnight with this deep sorrow, which she couldn’t seem to escape from. Tears twinkled in her eyes everywhere she went, and the idea of him made her throat contract in bittersweet, lustful agony.
She bit her lips in denial, shut her eyes forcefully, and threw her face into her hands. “No, no, no!” a voice inside of her cried out. “This cannot be,” she thought to herself.
She juggled the idea in her head, refused it, and shut it away. It has, indeed, been exactly two years and four months since she parted with, what she believes to be, her soul mate, but could it be that she might subconsciously still want him?
After a vicious cycle of: crying, denying, punching the wall, and self-bargaining, a brief moment of peace came over her; a moment that gave her the long-lost feeling of serenity. She thought to herself: “Oh, I must have been fooling myself. I do not love him.", and she got up and washed her face; flushing her feelings down the drain.
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