layers

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
a random brainstorming of a short play/scene

Submitted: August 27, 2015

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Submitted: August 27, 2015

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outside in/shades

(enter valyrie)
valyrie: Oh. hello! I'm Valyrie. welcome to my head! and, well, my heart i guess. wait no... there isn't really a ton of blood and guts here so i guess i'll just say welcome to me! i'm your average teenager; awkward, goofy, rebellious, and a voyage of hormonal rage. i believe that when asked "who are you?" it is impossible to give a singular answer. a few years ago, if i was asked that, i'd reply with the automatic "valyrie amina simmons, born august 10th 2000, i was a fat baby, i speak three languages, and i could not live without the arts." now, little bit by little bit, i'm learning that every person is layer upon layer of shade upon shade of colors. little fragments build up to create one person, and now complete set is exactly like another. shall i show you my shades?

red: i am the anger and rage who makes this girl's face so "red" (ha) and distort in some sort of snarl when she gets mad. i cannot stand alarm clocks, lights out time, messing up chords or notes, and i especially hate ANY reference to my past. i mean honestly. so annoying. i used to get pushed around, but there is no way in hell i'm gonna let that happen again. SCREW MEN! IM INDEPENDENT!

orange: oh...uh...hi. i'm...orange. the...awkward part of me...woo...um pineapples...im sorry...oh god...did i just say that?? i’m sorry...ahhh ahhh moooooooo...ahhh im sorry im just gonna leave now…

 

yellow: i’m...fear...i guess...i can't deal with public speaking or anything in front of other people. my first worst nightmare was when i watched my brother getting attacked by a shark. there are two others. one where i drowned in a glass case of water while everyone around me did nothing but laughed. the other was when i went to some party, but i was just a ghost. no one could hear me, see me. i then found out that the party was my own funeral. i couldn’t comfort anyone and i was just...empty. just not even there. I didn’t exist anymore and i am so afraid of telling people that i am afraid of being ignored. does that make me attention seeking or just human? tell me, am i doing this to myself just to get approval? i don’t really know anymore. I just know that my three main fears are open water, being ignored, and i am absolutely terrified of myself. changing rooms are torture chambers, bedrooms are coffins, and anytime that i am alone is a time where my life is threaten. i’d drown my demons but they know how to swim. they are the little voice in the back of my head that tells me i’m fat, i’m ugly, i’m worthless. i shed my skin daily because of these scolding voices. but i find i am lost in myself when corpses surround me.

 

green: aw, don’t be sad! i don’t there is much point in accepting what anyone says. Be it someone else or just your own self. silly, silly, silly. it’s best to not care and live like your life may end tomorrow, but then just don’t think about the dying part. think about every that you want to do right now. don’t regret anything. follow your urges, breathe deep, rest easy, be happy. there’s no point in frowning anymore. you’re better than that.

 

blue: ayo! i’m the art part of valyrie. music, photography, drawing, writing, you name it. i can’t get enough. when my thoughts are not something that can be framed on a wall, i can sing. when my thoughts are frozen in a certain state, i can take pictures. when they demand a voice but need not be spoken, i can write. when their demand for a voice is high but their weight is too much to hold in mere words, and so they sing and speak in frozen air, with hidden meaning in between those grains that make up a piece of paper. on that paper i will draw my demons and fighting and i will show you something that can not be described so you can see me in a clearer way that is open to your interpretation.

 

purple: i am loneliness. i am shame. i’m the part of valyrie that she has trouble talking about. i am her endless list of regrets and the parts of her story that she’d rather not mention, but without them she would no longer be herself. she hates to admit that i am a part of her. but i think that she is learning that i don’t hate her. i really don’t. i’m sorry that i have to do this. i can’t help it though. i just...i’m sorry.

 

black: believe it or not, i’m part of her depression. not the flimsy, stupid aawwwwwww my life is so diffficulttt pityyy meeeeee. pfft. poo that! i’d rather sleep than deal with all those crappy emotions. hey. you. do you wanna come over and watch some netflix? theres a new anime show...we could eat popcorn...cuddle...sleep. if you ever want to take me on a walk, you’ll have to carry me. i can’t go for more than twenty steps without consuming half my weight in carbs. sorry. but hey, then when we get fat, we can just roll around together. oh geez, i’m hunger. i’m gonna go get a snack.

 

white: hi. i’m valyrie’s innocence. well, i’m really just her inner child. i thought i was a goner when she got into middle school. but i’m finally back. when she babysits, or when we’re around her best friends, i’m glad. she’s happier now, so i get to come out again. it’s scary when she’s sad. everything gets dark and everything is difficult, breathing, speaking, moving. but its ok. i’m here now i can’t complain. i’m so excited to stay with her for a long time. it’ll be so much fun!


valyrie: see? i’m not just another copy. i am me, and that’s all there is to it. i’m not you, you’re not me, we’re all layers of colors and shades and smiles and frown. layers of happy tears and sad tears, layers of dreams and destinies and all that fun fun hullaballu. so i leave you with this. next time that you think someone is stupid, or mean, or just a terrible person in general, just try to look a little closer and see just one more of their layers.


© Copyright 2019 Valyrie. All rights reserved.

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