Sitting staring out my window I think of him… It was love… He said it would be forever, then why is he dead and why am I still here, I miss his touch, I miss the feeling of his lips.
It has been two months since he has died, I should be used to it, but I catch myself dialing his number then I remember he will never answer the phone. I will never hear his voice… I miss him. I would trade my life for his… He is gone… How am I supposed to go on.
It happened two months ago, my love and my best friend bought a blade to his wrist… slicing open the skin and bleeding his pain out, he did it again and again. I never understood why he cut until he died, I starting slicing myself, losing to the darkness. Anyway, he cut to hard and he couldn’t stop the blood, I came in to see the mess, blood everywhere, I ignored it all and crawled over to him, trying to stop the blood as I held him and kissing one last time before he used his last breath to tell me that he loved me and he was sorry for being in my life.
I never knew what made him cut, he had sweet parents, he was an outcast but he had me. He never knew how much I loved him.
I go to the kitchen and look for a knife. I needed a sharp edge to drag across my flesh as I couldn’t stand thinking of Jack anymore. I then sat back in my chair facing out the window, I lightly took the blade and bought it to my skin, blood oozing out, I watched with fascination as the blood contrasted with my eerie white skin. But the cut wasn’t helping the pain so I did it again only harder, and when that bought no relief I did it even harder, soon I saw I was loosing way to much blood, I decided to try to make it to my mobile and call for help. But I fell on my way. I soon realized this room with be my tomb.
And that was the end of me. I wish I could end on a good note, but I cant, all I can say is I will never leave this world, I wonder, looking for Jack, wondering if he found piece. But I will never know… All i know is my heart will no longer beat for him, I free in a sad way.
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