Poetry and Tea

Reads: 586  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 52

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Short poem I wrote a while back.

Until seven o'clock
I was building a home -
building a home in me.
now, finally, I am tired:
Poetry and tea.

Now it is more like a sunset,
the final stage of a tragedy.
I run to my shelter
but it cannot remember me.
On the floor falls perfection,
a collection of war and insanity.
A path dividing a cosmic sea:

Poetry and tea.


Submitted: March 09, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Vanchez. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Vanchez

Please give me feedback on my work! It would be greatly appreciated!

Fri, March 9th, 2012 3:26pm

nathanmarc12

Short, simple and elegant. Just amazing. It flows really well too. I love it, truly :)

Fri, March 9th, 2012 4:26pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much :D

Fri, March 9th, 2012 8:34am

hoodlum

Your use of words in the last couple of lines really pulled this peacie together and vividly painted a picture on my canvas of a mind.thank you for commenting on my work and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

Fri, March 9th, 2012 9:24pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Fri, March 9th, 2012 1:34pm

ahmad abadi

amazing just like you ;) and i like the nickname vanchez

Fri, March 9th, 2012 9:38pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Badi :D

Fri, March 9th, 2012 1:41pm

Blackmirror

It's short, simple, elegant...beautiful. I like the feel and flow of it particularly. Good job! :)

Fri, March 9th, 2012 11:00pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Fri, March 9th, 2012 3:19pm

Wilbur

This piece is pretty evocative -- Speaks of many things in few lines. Did the labor to build a home within that drove the speaker to the respite of 'poetry and tea,' not withstand the 'perfection' of poetry? That 'collection of war and insanity'? So that even known 'shelter' does not recognize the alien born of the 'cosmic sea'?
Many questions. Not only evocative, also provocative.
Kindest regards, Wilbur/Connie

Sat, March 10th, 2012 7:14pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Sat, March 10th, 2012 11:21am

Christian Taylor

Beautifully done! I really enjoyed it!

Sun, March 11th, 2012 6:54pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! :D

Sun, March 11th, 2012 3:19pm

Darklady

nice poem, very short but beautiful indeed

Tue, March 13th, 2012 3:11pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much :D

Tue, March 13th, 2012 10:13am

Insane Membrane

some very beautiful lines in this ... but I think somewhere it could be better have a look you will find it :-)

Tue, March 13th, 2012 5:04pm

Author
Reply

Perhaps, but I am not really a poet. This was just a one time thing for me :D

Thank you for reading!

Tue, March 13th, 2012 10:13am

Rajarshi

Between the rage,
and the far off tree.
The sun,
and the dead sea.
Between,
War and peace.
You find time,
for;
Poetry & Tea.


Very well written. Beautiful.Liked it very much. :)

Fri, March 16th, 2012 8:24pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much! :D

Fri, March 16th, 2012 1:28pm

desjane1

I really enjoyed this :D Short, but sends a message :) Great job :)

Fri, March 16th, 2012 9:26pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Fri, March 16th, 2012 2:43pm

Ramu Das

"finally I'm tired: poetry and tea" wonderful line!

Sat, March 17th, 2012 1:39pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much! :D

Sat, March 17th, 2012 6:45am

Miss Trevize

Nice poem! You should concoct some more.

Good work!

Sat, March 17th, 2012 3:20pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Sat, March 17th, 2012 8:22am

I am Revera Love

Very nice work. Your flow was right on :)

Sat, March 17th, 2012 11:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!

Sun, March 18th, 2012 6:08am

jp23

"On the floor falls perfection..."
Sounds like my room.
Nice work.

Sun, March 18th, 2012 2:52am

Author
Reply

Thanks :D

Sun, March 18th, 2012 6:06am

Sezan Vahpieva

simple and nice :)

Sun, March 18th, 2012 7:31am

Author
Reply

Thank you :D

Sun, March 18th, 2012 6:07am

AshenhartKrie

This is very good. Simple and short - always the easiest to read. ^_^

Sun, March 18th, 2012 10:14pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much! :D

Sun, March 18th, 2012 8:59pm

RazorBlade

Good job, liked this poem, it makes you think, now I am in the mood for some tea... :)

Mon, March 19th, 2012 9:07am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much and me too tbh...

Mon, March 19th, 2012 8:56am

Cosmic Crow

This style of poetry reminds me of Shel Silverstein poems. It has a clever way of rhyming, I really liked it. The line, "A path dividing a cosmic sea" was cool. Of course my nick name is cosmic so any line with that word in it gets a thumbs up. ~wink~

Tue, March 20th, 2012 6:58pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much! :D

Wed, March 21st, 2012 11:02am

Laci Denver

Short and cute! I love the theme of poetry and tea! Haha, adorable!

Tue, March 27th, 2012 2:16am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much :D

Tue, March 27th, 2012 9:29pm

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