hold back

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Tears flow

Submitted: March 23, 2016

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Submitted: March 23, 2016

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My life is a series of several stupid decisions

I wish I could go back and rewrite and revision

Depression hangs heavy on my stiff, sore shoulders

Crushes me like the weight of a million boulders

Nights that are a never-ending counting of sheep

I know that it’s late and that I should be asleep

The ever evading sleep that fuels the depression

Games and television support the obsession

My brain running at a million miles per hour

My heart making me feel like I have no power

This world makes me nauseous with its lack of affection

Technology destroys any real means of connection

Impatience fills the hearts of these people every day

There is so much to do and so much to say

They never slow down to enjoy life on this earth

They’re too worried about money and what they are worth

I hold back because I’m scared to let this world have me

I feel alone in a world that would just as soon consume me.

I’m afraid to conform to this everyday routine

I’m afraid I’ll forget the diff-er-ence between

How life really is and how things really should be

So I tumble around like a weed in the wind.

Every day that goes by my energy is thinned.

That bounce to my step so close to forgotten.

My heart and my mind once dear to me, nearly rotten.

I bite my tongue as I am trying to think.

Every individual moment, coming closer to the brink.

This can't be the only way to live on this Earth.

Living every day wondering what it all's worth.

They tell me to keep my head above water.

That's hard when it feels like I'm on a teeter totter.

Ups and downs continue to leave my heart in ruins.

What can we do when we're merely humans?

I get up every day when I know that the covers,

would possibly keep away my bodily shudders.

I refuse to let the insomnia and the depression

push me deeper and deeper into regression.

If I have to I will steep as low as repression.

I will show this world my strongest discretion.

And at the end of the day when I'm broken and beaten,

Whiskey in my glass, coke, just a little bit to sweeten.

Then after these long days I can finally get some sleep.

Just a little bit of time without letting the problems creep.

For tomorrow may be the dawn of a better day.

Maybe tomorrow I can keep all of these thoughts at bay.

 

 

 


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