Bad Dates

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A summary of a string of bad dates

Mountain Crest is the city of bad dates. I have had so many bad dates there it isn't even funny. This is in comparison to Altos where I have had a relative amount of good dates. But in Mountain Crest I can barely go anywhere without passing by a restaurant or coffee house that contains an uncomfortable memory of a date gone wrong. This is especially true of the Red Earth Cafe and Tamarind Thai Restaurant where for some reason the majority of my dates chose to meet. One guy even took me to dinner at Tamarind for our first (and only) three dates. Yeah, I know, not very imaginative. And worst of all is that their food is totally mediocre but is surrounded by blocks and blocks of fabulously exotic ethnic restaurants where the food is quite savory.

Why would these guys keep choosing such an unimpressive place? My guess would be because it is cheap. But maybe if they had taken me to someplace a little better they would have gotten a second date out of me. Maybe. Because one reason I knew that my last boyfriend was a keeper was that even though we both live in Mountain Crest he didn't take me to The Red Earth Cafe or Tamarind Thai. No, on our first date he took me down the street to a hip Vietnamese noodle joint that stays open until 2 am. See, very cool. But I imagine that even if those other guys had taken me there instead, the dates still wouldn't have been much of a success. For example:

There was the balding stoner who looked 15 years older than his online photo and who actually wore more jewelry than I did. Also, just on principal, I feel that if a guy is balding he should not have a ponytail longer than my own.

There was the son of a major Hollywood movie studio exec who turned out to be about 70 pounds heavier than his online photo and he couldn't stop talking about all the people who had done him wrong. Can you say persecution complex?!

Then there was the orgy guy. Seriously, he was right up front about it. He was a big proponent of the the orgy scene and he was constantly and enthusiastically trying to get me to come on board with him. And just to mention one more of the many hilariously bad dates, there was the hockey player who turned out to be teeny tiny. Plus he kept slurping on the massive metal braces on his teeth and if it's one thing I can't stand it's a slurper. Yuck.

In the end though, I guess I'm lucky that those guys didn't ruin for me a restaurant that was actually decent because it's certainly no loss to have to bypass Tamarind or Red Earth these days. And Mountain Crest is, after all, a lovely city.


Submitted: January 13, 2011

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