Innocent.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
No inspiration was needed for this. My mind was reeling the second I sat down.
It is sad, but she is happy in the end.
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so, it is NOT supposed to be depressing.
Realize if I left her paralyzed or with no memory of this... she still would remember later on.. and stil have to dwell everyday.
As my friend stephanie wisely put it "She gets to live in the stars..."

Submitted: February 01, 2008

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Submitted: February 01, 2008

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A A A


The clock in my head is buzzing. That buzzing richochet's off the empty walls within. 3:00 a.m. exactly. Do normal people wake up at this time? Nope, normal people get up at normal times. I am not normal.

I get up, struggling against the fifty pound weights attatched to my eyelids. Why do I fight it? Well, somethings have a price on them. My favorite part of the days price tag reveals that waking up early is the price.

Sliping out of the room, trying to be like a stealthy lion. Well, more so I am like a drunk cat. Pouncing and then running into something. Rustling through the living room, I meet the sliding door glass. It's probably fifty degrees,and that is just perfection. So, I silently, meaning with a light screech, open the door, and then the screen door. I shiver head to bare toes. Darn it, I forgot my slippers.

Mental note: next time, sleep with them next to me. My toes were going numb within minutes of being outside. Though, now I am going through the grass, I'm scared of the terrible things I could catch out here. But, cast them out when I finally look up at the beautiful sky.

Some say they have seen beautiful sunsets, sunrises, meteor showers, etcetera. Nothing comes close to what my big, honey eyes are set up at this momentous interval.The sky was pitch black straight above, but to the horizon it was a dark blue. The stars are faint, but the clusters entrance your eyes as a kaleidoscope would. They should be shining on everything, illuminating the yard, but it was very opaque here. I finally reealized I was convulsing becuase of the coldness. I took one last peek up at the sky and sighed.

This was all the happiness my day would bring me.

Sulking as I was back into the oven hot house, I saw my huskie sprawled out next to couch. A quick and easy way of heating up faster, was all my mind thought. Running over I burrowed my head into his neck, and got a lick on my cheek in return. After warming up, Frenchie yawned and followed me into the kitchen. Turning on the light, I felt my eyesight go out. As it gradually came hazily back, Frenchie was wagging her tail like it was wound up.

Food. Nourishment. Yum.

I grab a honey bun from the snack-and-go cabinet, then grab a handful of dog food and put it in her bowl. She almost made me fall when she ran passed me. So, turning to my glorious breakfast I rip of the waxy covering and slowly unwind it, eating bits by bits. Looking at the clock, I wasted around twenty minutes outside. That is shorter than usual, although it was colder than usual.

Grudgingly, I walked to my room and dressed as slowly as possible. Contemplating on even changing the already set out clothes. I picked up my fuzzy, cow printed slippes and tucked them under the covers. I love reminders.The clock read 4:32 a.m. and i still had two hours to kill. So, I trampled over to my mp3 and ran outside.

The sky had lost some of the beauty to the impending doom of the sun. Though nothing could appeal to me as much as the sky does. Normal people get appealed by fancy doodads, and whats-its that are as shiny as aluminun. I swear nothing could come as close to happiness as this canvas that is painted naturally every morning. Normal people find happiness in good grades and having a relationship.

Ah, what i would give to delete the word normal from the world's vocabulary.

I realized at once something was wrong. Those sudden tightening muscles in your body, the sudden alertness you get. I got up stumbling and ran into the house.

On my night stand my alarm clock glared at me in big red letters 6:00! I can't belives Iw as out there for two hours, and it only felt like seconds. The sheer beauty of having time pass that fast is another positive about why this is the only happiness I get. Where as the rest of my days, the intervals are at around five minutes or less. Repetition is my enemy at school.

So, as my frantic hands fight for all the things I need, my room becomes a crime scene. Just a clean one, no blood. I jogged to the door, yelling loves to Frenchie. I locked the door, but dropped my keys three or four times. I felt like a track runner, the way I was racing to my bust stop. i could see blinking orange lights.

I was screaming stop, and they actually stopped a few feet. I dashed on and took my seat in the middle of the bus. Looking around, I realized I wasn't the only one who alomst missed the bus, and some didn't even make it. Laying back in my seat I stared at the happiness draining up, and out of sight.

As did my hope of a good day. Some kid just spilt his breakfast on my bag. So, my bag will smell of nasty coffee and have a huge brown spot on it all day. Maybe I'll make the fashion for the week.

Everyone stood up to leave the bus, no one let me in the line, so I waited and was the last to unboard. My school looked like a bunch of brick buildings huddle together on a tiny piece of property.

So, my day went by as the usual, never ending way. Six classes, few friends. Math equations that go in one ear and out the other. And then, I was just walking home, with music humming through dense head phones.
This day is like every other. Like i said, repetition is my enemy. It's my karma, and my irony. I don't dwell on things like that my life stopped when my balance was knocked over. I try very hard not to show the way my aunt makes me feel when she says they miss me too.

Walking home, I realized I was dwelling. Dwelling too hard to see what was coming at me at 70 mph.

At that second I saw their faces. The face who I see everytime I look up into those clusters in the morning. They smile down at me, telling me with their eyes how proud they would be of me if I went to college, and made something out of myself. Their hope died there
.
The grunt of the metal made sure I would never walk again. Then the glass made sure I wouldn't remember this for months.

Soon after, the next car behind it made sure that I would never again have that happiness in the morning, or have to dwell on anything.

Their smiling faces, made me feel as if I truly would be happy soon, becuase I would soon be in the sky with them, with my cluster of stars.


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