Clips of a past relationship I'm sure some can relate to.

In the past of my depressive life, love has always been the issue, because I was so influenced by society that my independence couldn't bare. I am lost in this world like finding your bestfriend in the streets of New York. I don't really know what I did wrong but my friends tell me to stay strong but it's never actually helpful because I know how weak I really am on the inside and anger gets the best of me and people know when to back off. I loved one at a time, never two souls; I was Faithful. We loved like a young couple smoking nameless shit by a beach, on a bay. Drinking till dawn and sex till morning, then just when you know it, that kiddish love fades and becomes real and stressful and delusional. And you don't really know what you're getting into because you're so in love and love makes you blind. Love is hard to find as a stanger in America walking streets, getting high for free. You never actaully know what is going to happen. Then when those two souls decide to deliberate in lust, they fall deeper in love and sometimes, mostly the man, falls in and out of love because that's all he ever wanted. He got what he wanted.

I'm in a lie that no one can ever take back or regret because it's so powerful and I have a will to fight it even though what we had was so great and wonderful, he never actually meant anything because that's what he wanted to represent himself as; a player. I thought it was real, he says we're still friends but I never actually see them couples stay in rows of merriness but he said we would be alright. But I'm trying not to give into temptation cause I know, like I've known forever, that I'll fall back in love with that perfect stranger I was once was so familiar with. His friends say, they say I would of told you if I knew he was going to do you like he did, but if you're his true friends, you should of already known. Now his friends want to fall in love with me and their sweet, but it's a trap; Trip I cannot grip alone. So now I'm afraid of love, I'm afraid of falling in love, afraid of what might happen if I do and the man may not love me pure, like it's only a lie for sex; Like it's only a lie and fake it. Love is far from kind, it's apart from all blue skies and no grey rain but only some can get the meaning right about love and those are the ones taking cute photos and kissing and going to amusement parks. But I'm never one to get love right. Because now I'm afraid; Now I'm afraid of love.


Submitted: November 16, 2013

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oliver daisies

this is so very sad, yet so beautiful at the same time. the way you worded each sentence kept me gasping and nodding my head because of how much i could relate. well done, really. x

Sun, November 17th, 2013 7:02am

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