Victim of one's fate

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
This story is based on a boy who was a Victim of his own fate and life............ (Me)

Submitted: July 10, 2012

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Submitted: July 10, 2012



I took a birth in the year 1992. I was a youngest one who was an apple of an eye. I was the cutest and sweetest among all my cousins my relatives my siblings my friends and whom ever I had a relationship. I was a happy growing child, used to make everyone smile with my sweet and charming talking habit. But I was unable to see what my life is going to play with me..... My life gave me a big change when I was ten or ten half.

I won't tell every single moment that I had passed and all those slaps that I suffered. Still, I want to tell everyone that being in mud is easy but being under the rain is difficult. Here, in this short story, I tell you that how my pure unfilthy soul was put into dark well, where no one could pulled me out.

Its was an eve of 2003, when my best friend first gave me a kiss in a closed lift..... I was a kid and his friend, so I didn't mind, though I felt so hard and hot. I did tell neither him nor anyone that what I felt or what we had. Next night I ask him to kiss and that was my life's biggest mistake, he did. We were like became very close to eachother then one day we both had a new change in life. I insist him to..... he wasn't ready but then he put all his weapons and came with me alone, and then......... After that, we didn'y tell anyone. But that mistook change my whole life, infact ruined me.

Then, I had the same relationship with three more guys just because of my best friend. He used to bring them to meet me and tell them that I m also in for everything. But why to blame him? I didn't ever mind him, infact I used to get happy, to meet them. And this happend for..... two years.

Then there was a revolution in my life again. And my fate, again, brought me back to my past. I went another city for continuing my studies. There I had so much friend and best chummies. I didn't know, what do they have in their mind, as I was just 12. But gradually, my best friend, won't tell his name, started getting into my life my personals my everything. I, stupid, thought that he's a good guy, he won't even think of that. But one day he came to my room and kissed me. I smiled and lost my concious. And pulled him over me. He didn't do anything more but..... One day, a guy (also a friend) saw us sitting together, although we weren't doing anything. But then, that guy start chasing me to note all my movements my friends my everything.

Then one night, that guy was trying to touch my cheeks. I got angry I said stay away and slap him. That was my another mistake. He went angrily and told everyone that I kissed guys and I m gay and used to have slept with guys. I was so alone I didn't know what to do, I just slept weeping. Then next morning everyone has the same question for me "Is that true?" I got so much alone in my life. I didn't know where to go? Where to weep? I was seeing God and asking for mercy :'( And my best friend didn't took my side and told everybody that yes I slept with him, just to make his own self a macho man. Everybody was mocking at me saying will you sleep with us too, which place your or mine, when, which colour and etc etc.....

I didn't answer anyone and told my friend to just get your fucking self out of my side. I didn't want to see his face even. He was like sorrying me, but for what and when? After ruining my life and after letting me down. 

I won't go ahead, sorry, but thats true that I had relationship with seventeen guys in my life. I m 19 now, and its been 4 years I m not in with my past life. I have left everything but still my past is following me all the time. When I sleep I see boys in my dreams. When I see handsome guys I want to do everything with them which I didn't before. I search for boys infact now I search man and hunks from gaysites, from unknown calls, from chat room. I make friendship, ask those men to meet me here meet me there but don't go. Because I m afraid of my past because I don't want it to stand again in front me. I try to love girls try to thing of girls but all in vein. In the end of the day, see boys and hunks with me. Now when I speak at the back of someone that person think that its a girl so he/she see me and say "he's a girl". I feel very bad and get confused, try to talk like boys but my gesture, my way of talking, my laugh smile tell them everything. Some people directly ask me whether I m girl or boy. And my friend who brought me in this condition still talk like boys infact talk like he's macho and I ain't. As you all might have noticed my way of explaing. Its kinda girlish I know. Now I think my God is watching me syaing I m with you as you want to get out of this so I will pull you up after sometime but dont let my rope released. 

I want to get out of this muddy marsh. I dont want to do what I did before. Although, I m still not pure gay because I never had anything in me ( never slept with anyone but kissed seventeen)..... But as I m adult now I thing of that.

I have a request you all to please don't do the same what I did or what I didn't because its a see which wont let you out of it until and unless you have strong faith in you. I m tired of trying again and again.

In the end, I  want to say that I'll surely publish my other stories as well because I want you guys to know that this doesn't happen only with girl, it happens with boys too. May be some people won't believe me. They might think that its just a way to attention, so I had nothing to say for them. Because a boy who is fighting his fate can't ask others to help him.....

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