(This is my entry for "Spilled Interlude’s" Contest – a bit out of my realm, but a great challenge!)
It was hard to wake up this morning. Didn’t feel like it. I really wish I had pulled the shades and windows shut when I went down to feed the cats and let them out. The sun is now blasting a hole through the side of my skull. I filled all of the feeders yesterday and the happy tweeting of little birds – hundreds of them – is not helping. I am on holiday, damn it! The one day of the week I can sleep in. Oh great. The Golden Retriever next door and the Pomeranian across the arroyo are having a heated morning discussion. Sounds kind of furious. Their anger hurts my ears worse than their amiable conversations. What’s up? Crap! They are barking at MY cat!! Okay, okay, I’m awake. My fault. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I love animals. But the animals that live inside my house are relatively quiet. I’ll leave the birds out of this dispute. All outside birds make noise, feeders or no feeders. The neighbors’ animals? Another story. This issue has been running strong for seven years or more, but they never solve the problem. It makes no sense at all. “Poopsie’s darling little yippie voice is SO precious, I’m sure the neighbors will love hearing her at 6:45 A.M.” What can they be thinking??? I see them every day, the neighbors’ “kids.” The Golden Retriever is a good egg, just lonesome. Poopsie has a big yellow squeaky star she uses to punctuate her stronger statements. It’s pretty thrashed, that star. But it’s holding strong after all these years. Arrrggh! Poopsie. The irony carries a wasted star. Wish the irony would carry that wasted star all the way to the dumpster.
So, here’s my holiday. It was my holiday. Not anymore. I hope they’re enjoying it, the screaming meemies. Know what? It’s not right. It’s just not right. But…but…if I took the cats away, the dogs would have less to talk about. If I took the birds away, the cats would have less to keep them interested. And so it goes. I hate to admit it, but it looks like I’m stuck. I guess I’ll keep my peace with the neighbors. They’ll never know how much I want to wring their necks. It’s the classic argument – stay together for the kids.
© Copyright 2016 Victoria Reid. All rights reserved.
Book / Humor
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Humor
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