Memoir Of My Life In My Words

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just my perspective and how i see life and the people in it without getting into specifics of people and events.

Submitted: August 17, 2012

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Submitted: August 17, 2012

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Who Am I?

I guess the easiest answer would to simploy say: I'm Me. But i'm also guessing it's not the answer you're looking for. You're trying to figure out what "makes me tick." Let's just start by saying, "Life isn't fair." People tell me this all the time and they say it to themselves as well, but do they really understand the meaning? A kid wants icecream and doesn't get it so he says, "It's not fair." In your mind just reading that, you're thinking "life isn't fair kid." Am i right?

"Life isn't fair." What does it really mean?? Is it the kid who wants something he can't have? Is it the musicuan who can't get a job because he sits on his ass all day? No, it's not either of those. How about the kid who tries to change people lives, but when the gannge is complete, he's pushed away without a simple thanks? Is life fair to that kid? Do you think he knows what it means to know that life isn't fair?

You know, i wouldn't try to convince you of anything, because it doesn't matter. At this point in your life, you've already made your choice to read this, with your mind open to what i'm saying or not. I'm not going to twist the truth, because if you don't want to hear it, you can close this page any time you want. I'm not forcing you to read this, it was your choice.

If you really want to know who i am, i'll tell you this: You already know who i am, you just refuse to accept someone like me could ever exist. I'm human. I cry when i'm sad, I shake when i'm distraught, I clench my jaw when i get mad. I do everything any human would and more. What more can i do that most humans don't? I wonder. You are reading this wondering, "What do you mean? I wonder too." I'm talking about the fact that most people live their lives wondering about simple, mindless things where i wonder about things that don't just relate to me or to those directly in front of me.

Here's just one example: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live inside yourself, completely alone, yet there are always people around you saying they care? What's your answer? "Yes." ?? Is that your answer? What does that say about how simple minded you choose to be? Here's my answer: Yes, i do wonder about this kind of thing all the time, because it seems to me like i live there all the time. But wondering, isn't only focused on this question, it's focused on all the aspects of the question, such as: How did that kid get there? What influenced his life for him to get there? How can he keep caring about others while not caring about himself? Why is it that he can find hope where there is none to be found? Why doesn't he just end it all?

People think they really know their friends, but turn to a random friend. It could be someone you've known for the longest time or even just barely met them. What can you tell me about them? Can you tell me their eye color? Their favorite color? The last school they went to? Yeah, those are all the simple things because we choose to be too afraid to dig deeper. Do you know why their favorite color is what it is? Do you know why they like/dislike their parents? Do you know why they don't talk that much? Do you know why they choose to be alone? How much do you actually know about them? Growing up i never really had a close friend, but there have only been 2 people in my life who have known every single thing about me without a single hesitation. But lets try a different question. You may know every single thing about someone, but how about this: What do they really know about you? What do you ALLOW them to see vs what's REALLY beneath that mask?


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