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I've had only a handful of major people in my life, people that have truly affected me, and lately I cannot forget this one person. We don't talk anymore, but I won't ever forget it.

Sometimes I swear I see you on the street. Sometimes I get the strangest feeling that when I turn the corner, you will be there. I don't know why you'd be here, where I am now, but sometimes I get the feeling you are. Maybe you're thinking of me? Or maybe not. After all, I pushed you away. I pushed you away, told you to hate me, and maybe you actually listened. She said you wouldn't, that it was against your nature to hate, but I changed a lot of things about you, so it wouldn't surprise me if I changed that too.

Were the changes I made really for the good like you told me? Or did I really fuck you up like I'd feared? When I went back home, I went to the fence on the battlefield. I walked with Ilsa and we talked about you. Even she said that you and I had a connection, something you couldn't just dismiss through the phone like I did. God, why did I do that? I mean, I know it had to be done, but I wish there had been another way. You always knew me, even when you thought you didn't.

I miss talking to you. I miss our conversations. I miss you so much and I can't even think of words to describe it accurately enough.


Submitted: October 27, 2011

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