Missing one fucking detail!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Something I did once for a contest. I though messed up the submitting and did not take part...

Submitted: July 01, 2015

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Submitted: July 01, 2015

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The young female employee at a Shirt Factory, seams way to excited. As she introduced to her new job, she is running around and watching everything. Surprisingly, she is wearing a dress!

  • So miss Shirley Shirtkov; why do you want exactly to work here? - Shirty McShirtson the chef of the factory asks.

  • I'll try to explain it as short as I can. - Shirley says happily smiling. Not taking of her eyes from the shirts that lie in the corner of the room.

  • Please go on. - the black tall Shirty says serious.

  • It all started when my father Ivan Shirtkov feed Soviet Russia. He traveled all the way from Crimea in the 1970's holding on to a Russian submarine. They went to nuke Great Brittain. Luckelly a whale broke she submarine and my father was washed to she English shore. He fell in love with Elizabeth S. Macaroni. She was a well dignified English noble woman. Well long story short, he impregnated her, she died he feed to USA. He promised my mom to raise my to be a dignified young lady. So I have to wear these annoying dresses al the time! Ughh… Well, I am more like the Russians I like to wrestle bears and swim trough liquid nitrogen. I don't even like tea! I always wanted a shirt! Because they are perfect. They are subtle cute. In all sizes variations, for all activities and they have so many colors and letters. Do you even know how frustrating it is to go to a clothes shop, and all these shirts and you can't wear even one of them?! Sometimes I asked myself: “ Maybe I am not good enough”; “Maybe I am not worthy, of such exquisite clothing”. It hurt, it hurt so badly. I cried myself to sleep. I dreamed of living in a house made of shirts that stands on a shirt. I dreamed, well when I woke up the pain was just getting worse. Well a dress does not empathize breasts as well as a shirt oh a shirt! You know? I never noticed a guy looking at me before, slowly everyone was leaving me. Finding love, passions, leading a happy life. Why was I different? Why did I not deserve such happiness? Shirts, why why father did you not let me wear ONE!!! Every day at school was painful, everyone was always laughing. They think I did not notice! They were talking about the poor Shirley, the pitiful girl without one shirt. Everyone, always just about me! I learned to draw them. I drew them all day every day, everywhere! After all, SHIRTS ARE PERFECT!!!” They are dignified, erotic, pretty and no one rapes you if you wear one. I learned all about them how, where, by whom they are made, where and by whom they are bought. All, I know all of it! I learned to draw them, copy. Than it hit me! If I can't wear one, I can at least feel it near me. I sliced them all over my body! Now I have at least some worth, at least some perfection on me. All the pain, it was all worth it! I even found a few substances that let me visit my shirt house on a shirt whenever I wanted. But the pain when I was awake grew worse and worse. I sliced more and more of them into me, and visited the house more and more. I was practically not leaving. There I had it all love, friends, family, happiness and most importantly all the shirts I could have ever dreamed to wear. But, then I look down, and there it is, the hideus me in a shitty dress coming close to the perfection everyone is able to experience never able to reach it. Why why could I not, why only me?! I know more about shirts than anyone. Look at those hands is it not proof enough! Hahahahaha! And now I am finally there! Finally at the center of it all, now I may be finally able to reach my happiness!

  • Sorry mam, but you are a totally insane person. Just leave you can take a few shirts with you though.

  • Thaaank... you. - Shirley replies in a shaking voice.

The girl goes to the bridge she lives long under. She visits her dream shirt-house once again. She binds a few of the shirts she took together. She hangs herself. In the end she was simply to stupid to put a motherfucking shirt on, goddammit! Maybe she swam in nitrogen to much. Fuck this shit… I'll go put on a shirt in her place.


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