The truth

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Health and Fitness  |  House: Booksie Classic
My life as an adult.

Submitted: August 28, 2015

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Submitted: August 28, 2015



My life after i turn 18, i was with my brother and father in bangkok. I decided one day to go out clubbing without them knowing. I went with one friend and started drinking and smoking, from then on i started clubbing and made an fake ID. Once i was grinding with random people. I was full of fun. Then i became depressed and started writing depressed statues. But eventually i move away and went live with mother as thing became stressful and friends avoided me for me becoming different.

I still contitune to drinkk and smoke and then when i was alone in apartment in malaysia whilst mother was away i became psychotic without knowing. when she came back she took me to psycharist based on my story he disagnose me with schizophrenia.

I started treatment islolated myself and stayed close to my family and then went back to study and graduated with a diploma in makeup. I was struggling, in pain, heart broken, missed my friends, lonely, wanting them back. Then eventually i got better after psychotherapy and then i started writing, and wrote a book which was launched in a hospitel in klang.

After 3 years i became brave to come out of the closet and rule the world.I eventually started public speaking and coming out in several article i just want my story out there. I got builled most of my life, i struggle with a learning disability and eventually became schizophrenic and then i was schizoeffect.

I suffered, i cried for months. I would have bazaar thoughts and mood swings. Voices would tell me the whole world hates me or i am a loser, nothing i do is right. I am abandon. People want me dead. I shouldn't be alive. whatever i did in past i admit was wrong but i was mentally unstable and uncontrolable. 

Please i'm begging for a second chance and to change except me for today not yesterday. I've come along way and i hope to get back support. I have gotten a few supporters but not everyone is as understanding and willing to except that i have a problem usually people say i am rude and a brat.

I try my best to keep myself motiivated yet i am only human sometimes i crash. I try to motivate others and want to help inspire others and show them method of how to think differently and positively. reality check is important. I've been suffering for five years and i have been taking meds not because i'm pro meds but because i couldn't do it alone.

I have experience sideeffects and now on regular excerise and will be starting a creative writing course. I hope that world can stop discrimation and stigma i look normal but there days i look psychotic. I just know how to pull myself together. 

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