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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
story of a college friends turned into lovers but had a tragic ending.

Submitted: August 24, 2017

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Submitted: August 24, 2017



One fine day, I saw a girl. Bold, confident, independent and of course beautiful in her own way. It was the first day of my college.  Something in her attracted my attention. She was with her girl gang but still something made her stand out from the entire group. I had set my goal of talking to her at least once. We were classmates. Days passed by and I was searching for a good occasion to strike a conversation with her. I paid keen attention during her introduction to the class.We supposed to be in the same practical batch. I said “this is it. Go talk to her.” I gathered all my courage and asked her for her notes. She was kind enough to give it to me. This was the start to our friendship. Later on we exchanged numbers, started meeting each other in the library, and many more. I could never resist staring into her deep black beautiful eyes. We started enjoying each other’s company. I use to flirt with her every now and then. I always wanted to impress her. I never really knew my feelings for her. We started sharing our past, present and future with each other.

Once we were bored on a Saturday evening so I asked her out for an evening walk. It was a pleasant evening and she was looking beautiful. I couldn’t stop admiring her beauty. She seemed a little low today. I asked her about it but she just ignored it. We went back to our hostel. As soon as I reached my room I received a text message from her. It read “I think we should not meet anymore. TcL”. I was shocked reading that message. I enjoyed her company. She was a really good friend to me. It been only few months but the way she made me feel was a feeling I had never experienced with anyone else. I dialled her number but she kept rejecting my call. I couldn’t find out what was wrong.I tried talking to her during college but she kept ignoring me there as well. I was addicted to her company. I missed her very badly. I followed her everywhere, tried talking to her. At last I found her alone in the library and I went straight to her and questioned her about her actions. After constantly questioning her, she revealed that she felt for me and it was hard for her to be just friends and tears rolled down her cheeks. I didn’t knew how to react and stood there watching her leave. I went to my room and started replaying the scenario that happened in the library.I started questioning myself. Did I felt the same way for her? Did my silly actions made her feel that way? Should I propose her? I never wanted to lose her at any cost. I talked to her about all this and she revealed that she don’t want to be just friends with me, she loved me. I was confused all my life and so was I now. Should I or should I not, I kept asking myself. At last I decided to get into a relationship. She was happy, I was happy, we were happy.

Years passed and I was still confused. I knew she was the best I could get and I don’t want to lose her even now but all these years I never confessed to her that I was there because I never wanted to lose a bold, confident and independent girl like her. But was she the same now?  I had made her dependent on me. My actions made her lose her confidence. She hand the most beautiful eyes but now I could see the fear of losing me in them. I had changed her completely because of my insecurities. I knew she wasn’t the same back 4 years 9 months ago. I never wanted her this way. But I was the one to be blamed for this.Her love started suffocating me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I gathered all my courage once again but this time again to become strangers. This time she was shocked. She went numb. She tried convincing me but I never listen. I broke all the contacts. I changed my phone number, email address and kept no contacts with our mutual friends. She had no other option but to write me mails regardless of knowing if I am even reading them.Once I checked my old email id and found one email from her each day since we broke up. In each mail she described her day and how much she missed me. I read all of them. It was never like I never cared. But I didn’t want to hurt her any further. I started checking my mails at the end of the day and enjoyed reading them on daily basis. Even now I wanted to be with her but as a friend, but I knew that would hurt her and I never want to do that to her again. I wanted her to be the same bold confident girl again. I wanted to apologise to her for changing her according to my comfort and then leaving her mid-way. But I knew I was too weak to accept that in front of her. I never wanted to face her again my entire life. She always wrote how miserable her life was without me. But I knew it would have been worse if we were together.

One day after completing my work I checked my mail just to see how she was doing but to my surprise there was no mail from her. I was curious and worried if she was fine. I kept checking my mails daily but to find no mail from her for almost a month. I was restless. I started cursing myself for not replying to any of her mails. I was disappointed. Has she moved on? Did she find any other guy? Is she safe? I was desperate to know. I didn’t give up but checked my mails every day.More than one month had passed and finally she wrote me a mail apologising for not writing for this long and she was busy with her job. I felt good knowing her whereabouts. This mail of her was long unlike other. Now she had started writing me mails every month instead of every day. In one of her mail, she wrote that her parents were planning for her wedding and asked me what she should do. I didn’t care to reply. It was almost 2 years since we broke up. She got married few months later. She had sent me the wedding card but I was weak to see her getting married to someone else. As always I was confused but I decided not to go.

A year passed that she had got married. She had settled in Punjab because of her husband’s job. She never stopped writing me. I was always curious to see how her husband was. More than that I wanted to see how she looked now. Had she gone back to the bold independent women or the girl I left. But there were no way I could find out. After few months she stopped writing to me. It had been almost 3 months that she didn’t write to me. Has she now decided to write me every 6 months? My curiosity started building up.I got to know that I had to visit Punjab for some office work. I was happy to hear that. I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. Before anything else she was my friend. Should I write her about my visit to Punjab? Should I ask if she could meet? Keeping all my confusion aside I decided to write her in details about my visit to Punjab. I wrote her about all the mails I had received from her and how I enjoyed reading them and was willing to meet her if it was fine for her. It had been almost a week that I had written her but didn’t receive any reply from her. Only three days had left before I was leaving Mumbai to visit Punjab.I received a mail from her. I was happy to see her message again in my inbox. She wrote she was looking forward to meet me and invited me over for dinner at her home. I was happy but bit awkward to visit her house in presence of her husband but still I had decided to meet her. I was very excited to see her after so many years. I had brought her favourite coloured shirt to wear for dinner at her house. I didn’t know why I was doing all this but even after all this I wanted to impress her. I completed my office work for that day and reached her house at sharp 7 in the evening.

I rang the bell. Her husband opened the door for me. He was a good looking well-built guy.  He recognised me and asked me to come in. I was sure she must have told her husband that I was a friend of her. I entered the lavish apartment and he asked me to take a seat in the living room as he went inside to get me a glass of water. I rolled my eyes around admiring the beauty of the apartment. I saw a big photo frame of her and her husband on the wall adjacent to me. It was not their marriage photo. She was looking elegant and beautiful with the same beauty in her deep black eyes. This could have been us may be if I had not been so confused. A part inside me was jealous. Her facial features were sharp and her beautiful smile just took my breath away.I started questioning my decision but it was too late to do that. I was now more excited to see her in person.  Her husband came out with a glass of water for me. I thought they would have servants for all this work. He offered me the water and started asking me about my trip to Punjab. I told him about the same. He told me that he knew everything about me and his wife. She had told him everything before their marriage. I was surprised. I wasn’t prepared for this. I just smiled back at him and was looking at the entrance of the kitchen for her to arrive. But I could hear anyone in the kitchen. I asked him if she wasn’t at home. But he didn’t reply to it and just got up and went near the huge photo frame of their. I followed him and asked him again. I surely couldn’t control my excitement of seeing her after so long.

He turned towards me and in a shaky voice he revealed that she was no more. I felt like someone had stabbed me in my heart. I couldn’t feel the floor beneath me. My saliva was struck in my throat. I asked him again to reconfirm if what I heard was right. He confirmed. He stared back with red watery eyes. I was ashamed to fame him. I wanted to just run away from his apartment. I just went back to the sofa I was seated on. I had turned into a zombie. I couldn’t feel anything. Every bit of our memory started playing in my mind. I wanted to see her for the last time. I wanted to hold her tightly and never let her go. I wanted to hear her voice. I could feel tear running down my cheek and the other chasing it down. He came and sat beside me trying to console me.The only words left my mouth was “when?” He told me that almost 2 and half month ago she was out with her friends on a trip. Their car met an accident. She was in ICU for 4 days and then she had internal bleeding and she left forever. I burst out crying. I couldn’t control my tears. He told me she always told him about us. She described me well that is how he recognised me at the door. He had seen few pictures of our and told everything she use to talk to him about me and how she loved me. I was happy to know that she was married to such a wonderful guy with no insecurities and with such and understanding nature unlike me.

I asked him about the mail I received. He told me that he was using her laptop for some work and found her mail id open to access and was checking the mails just to find mine and hence asked to come over for dinner. That’s what she would have done if she was alive. She would be happy if u visited her and this is why I did, just to make her soul happy. I hugged him and thanked him for doing this or else I would never I would have never found out about all this. We had our dinner together and then I asked for his leave. He offered me to take away the memory box which she had preserved from our relationship. I was shocked to see all the chocolate wrappers and gifts I had gifted her. I was overwhelmed and felt lucky enough to have been loved so much by a special someone. I left Punjab making a new friend.

© Copyright 2018 shweta pramod kalpana kamble. All rights reserved.

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