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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Track is a script that is currently in the process of being recorded and being put onto the promo video is already up!

Contains mild violence and two uses of strong language.
Contains frequent use of fourth wall breaking, may lower IQ.

Opening narration paragraphs and costume list by Kieran Egan. Check out his Booksie account!

Submitted: March 18, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 18, 2013




SCENE 6, Intro

Opening Narration: People have told me I suck as a superhero. I simply chuckle as I reply... I know.

When I first decided I wanted to be a superhero I thought I'm gonna end up dead if I don't get superpowers, but this is real life so I didn't get superpowers, also because we couldn't afford the budget for superpowers. We also didn't have the budget for a longer film, you were meant to have a big dramatic intro but instead we've cut the script in 2 pieces and threw away the first half so you’re about to join me in the middle of the plot, good luck catching along.

The scene starts with Track getting chased by some unknown villain, with the music Run Away (aka epic sax guy) playing in the back ground. Camera freezes and in big letters next to Track's head is his name.

Track's Narration: This is me, getting chased, this was meant to be me chasing off a bunch of kids trying to steal a woman’s purse. Well I did stop them, but the trouble is they’re now chasing me. And I'm guessing you’re wondering about the costume, again we didn't have much budget whatsoever.

The costume consists of a cheap balaclava/mask, a hooded jumper, tight jeans which slow him down, black gloves with red edging.

Track: I was just trying to be good!

Track has a panicking cry in his voice.

The kids catch up to him and jump on him. Then they proceed to kick him.


Camera shows the back of Track, who is playing the piano.

I tend to play on my piano when I’m depressed. It gives me a sense of relaxation.

Camera cuts to the front of the piano, but you can’t see what Track is playing.

Track yawns and covers his mouth, revealing that the piano is only on a demo.

Track continues to pretend play the piano.

I’m not THAT good. Neither are my new super speed powers. Anyways, I have finally decided on what I want to do: I don’t want to be a hero anymore. Not like I was one in the first place though. But, I hate the attention. I thought it would be awesome to have people coming after me, but it’s a lot harder than it seems. And Track, pft, what kind of name is that? I’m John Smith for God’s sake. I’m an average nerdy fifteen year old boy. I’ve wondered to myself what I have to do now. And I know just what: I must run away, forget all that has happened. I don’t know where I’ll go; join the circus maybe. That sounds like a good idea. LERS don’t want me, and I can now see why: They don’t want someone as young as me to be caught up in all of this. The police replaced by teenagers, really? In what kind of messed up world would that be allowed to happen? All I have now is my costume, and my gun which I got through the post. I still don’t know how I did that if I’m totally honest. Flame the writer not me, I’m just an actor.

Track: How does it even work?

Track fires the gun and there is a loud ringing noise.

Track screams, which then gets cut short by a camera cut.

Track has his gun out, which people see.

Someone calls the police who turn up on the scene and start to pursue Track. (You can’t actually see them, but you can hear the sirens)

Track: LERS isn’t all that then, huh?

Track begins to run.


Track runs onto the rooftop where he pushed off the superhero earlier on.

Track: How did I get here?

The hero appears and punches Track, knocking him backwards and onto the floor.

Track: Ow!

Track gets up.

Track: That really hurt, you prick!

Hero: I warned you to stop interfering, but you never listened!

Track: Actually, that moving car never listened.

Hero: Enough! You have committed crimes against this town and her people. What say you in your defense?

Track thinks.

He then looks like he’s about to cry but doesn’t.

Track: I…

Track looks up at the hero.

Track: I was only trying to help!

Hero: And who did you help? Nobody! Only one of us can be the savior of this town, and that one person is me! For I am-

Track punches the hero.

Track: Shut up with you and your Skyrim references!

Hero: (Laughs) you hit like a bitch!

Track: Bring it, tough guy!

They Fight.

Hero: Stand down worthy adversary; you are no match for me! The almighty-

The hero steps back and slips.

He falls off of the building.

Track: …Well that escalated quickly.

SCENE 9, Ending

Camera shots of Track walking, proud of himself.

Well, here we are. We’ve come full circle. Sure you never got to see the first part of the story, but blame our producer; he never provided us with the budget. So, please don’t take this message lightly: No matter how good they look in the movies, the games, the comic books, the TV series’, the novella: Being a superhero sucks. The twisted hand of fate will strike you down. No matter how much good in the world you try to do, it will all just come back in your face. It’s as if fate has it in for you. I’ve got away with a fair amount of things recently, all of which were futile now that I don’t even want to become a hero. I’m not one to believe in bad luck, but I’ve had a lot of bad luck recently; it’s unbelievable. All I want to do now is-

Clip of Track walking under a ladder.

As soon as he is on the other end of the ladder, a boulder crashes down and crushes him.

Track walks from behind the boulder.

Track: Whew! Now that was a close one!

Track looks up.

The camera dramatically zooms in on Track’s awe stricken face.

Voice: You lucky bastard.

Credits roll.

Epilogue, After the Credits

I’m sure you’ll be glad to know: We took out a loan, just so that we could do the first part of the script. We hope that things will make a lot more sense now. We hope you enjoy.

SCENE 1, Intro

In a world, filled with terror, anguish and fear, the inhabitants need a hero in these dark times to stop the menacing evils that roam free; the evils that the government fail to stop. I am here to stop that free roaming, menacing evil, for I am-

Track pushes the spandex-wearing superhero off of a skyscraper, killing him.

Track looks over the edge and rub/claps his hands then walks away.

Hi! I’m Track, and I love superheroes. I’ve grown up with them for as long as I can remember. I’ve read the comics, novella, fan fiction, watched the films, TV series, web series, you name it. I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I now think “Fuck it, I want superpowers”. I’ve ordered radioactive insects off of Ebay; I’ve convinced spiders to bite me; I’ve attempted to make an Arc Reactor; I’ve volunteered for gamma radiation testing, I’ve put a pan over my head in a lightning storm, the list goes on.

While Track narrates each part of his origin story, the camera cuts to scenes of what he is saying.

Camera cuts to Track’s bedroom.

This is my nerd cave. I tend to hang out here a lot.

Without the camera changing, Track appears in his chair.

Track: How did I get here? Cut back to my narration!

Anyways, I searched for cult groups on the internet and I found an interesting sounding one: Chavs. Apparently they populate the majority of the UK. Good thing I live there then!

Track knocks on the door to a house.

Chav: What?

Track: Hi! I’ve heard of your cult group “Chavs”, and I’m interested in joining.

The chav slams the door on Track.

That was just rude.

I like to do random acts of kindness.

Track walks down a street and looks down an alleyway to see people intimidating a civilian.

Person: Someone help me!

Track: This looks like a job for: Track!

Track runs into a nearby phone booth and starts to undress.

Camera cuts between Track undressing/dressing in the phone booth and people beating up the civilian.

Track runs down the alleyway to find that the civilian is on the floor and the people have disappeared.

Track sighs and walks away in a huff.

For the most part, I’m either too late or it backfires.

Track is being chased by people.

Track: I was only trying to help!

Track is at home and the doorbell rings while he is looking at pictures of radioactive insects.

Track opens the door to find a delivery guy.

Track: (excitedly) Oh thanks!

Track closes the door.

SCENE 2, Finding Work

Track is sitting at his desk writing things down and searching on the internet.

He comes across a company called “LERS” and writes it down.

I have been looking for work for a long time now. But I’ve found a group who fit just what I’m looking for. From the sounds of it they’re looking to hire a few capable people in order to replace the police. Apparently crime has escalated a lot recently, beyond police control. Pft, amateurs.

Track: (On the phone) Hi, I’m Track, I saw your website and I was wondering if I could apply.

Track looks at the website which states “No applications.”

Track: Please! I promise I’ll do well! I can get super powers and-

Track is interrupted through the phone. The audience cannot hear the other end.

Track: What do you mean: “Super powers don’t exist”? Have you seen Superman!?

Track: Okay then, so what if I make my own stuff like Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne?

Track: Come ooooonnnnn!

Track: Well can I at least-

The phone hangs up.

Track: I’m only trying to help!

Track puts his head in his hands.

Cue depressing trumpet solo.

Track lifts his head up and has a look of curiosity on his face.

He gets up from his chair and looks around his room.

He opens his curtains to reveal someone in a suit playing the trumpet.

Track opens the window and pushes him off of the window sill.

First my random acts of kindness aren’t working, now I can’t even find a company who will accept me!

I’ve now realised that I have to make trouble and fix it myself! People are sure to notice me then!

Track pushes someone in the middle of the road.

Track: Watch where you’re walking!

Person: Hey, back off pal!

Track lets out a miniature scream and quickly walks away.

God dammit.

Camera cuts to Track opening his front door to reveal the delivery guy.

Delivery Guy: Package for a, John Smith?

Track: I prefer Track.

Track takes the parcel from the guy and slams the door which hits the delivery guy.

Track looks suddenly excited and runs upstairs.

Camera cuts to Track walking down a road.

He eventually comes across a group of people down an alleyway doing drugs.

He then gets overwhelmed with excitement.

He Approaches the people while trying to look menacing.

Track: You do know that there are kids about who can smell this stench right? They can also catch it through passive smoking, ya know?

Druggy 1: Kids like you?

Druggy 2: I’d run away lil boy!

The Druggys start to laugh at Track.

Track: If you won’t do it as a favour to others, do it as a favour to yourselves! That stuff kills, ya know?

Druggy 3: Who the hell is this guy?

Druggy 1: Get outta here man! You’re attracting too much attention!

Track: That’s the idea, go with it. This is my one and only chance of becoming a superhero.

A fourth druggy just laughs.

Druggy 4: You high as a kite, man!

Track looks disgusted and insulted.

He then pulls a gun on them all.

Track: Put your hands up! All of you!

The druggys don’t seem to care too much. They murmur.

Track: Put your God damned hands up!

The druggys look at Track curiously.

Druggy 1: Let’s get him!

Track begins to run away from the angry druggys.

Several shots of Track running away and the druggys chasing Track.

SCENE 3, An Old Friend

Track: (To himself) well, there’s only one thing I can really do now…

Several dramatic shots of Track getting changed into his brand new costume.

Track: Let’s rock!

Track leaves his house to confront the druggys.

Track: You shall commit no further crimes, criminal scum! For I, Track, am here to put an end to all of your cunning plans!

The druggys run away screaming.

Track: (Laughing) wow. That actually worked!

A shadow of a person appears behind Track.

Track turns around.

The camera cuts to the feet of the person.

The camera slowly pans up to reveal the person. It’s the superhero Track killed earlier by pushing him off of the building.

Hero: There is only one person in this town worthy of fending off crime.

Track: Aww thanks! I mean, I really am touched by your kind words! You have literally like, no idea how much trouble I have-

Hero: That one person-

The hero makes a dramatic pose.

Hero: Is me!

Track: God dammit. Hey, do I know you?

Hero: Yes, you do know me…

Camera flashes back to several scenes including: Track pushing a hero off of a building, pushing the trumpet player off of his window sill, pushing the random person in public, not helping the person being beaten up on the floor, the delivery guy, and a random shot of Track’s dad.

Track: Why was my dad there? Who the hell is editing this?

Hero: Your dad was there Track because… I am your father!

Track: Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Hero: You cannot defeat me Track, for I am-

The hero gets hit by a car.

Track whistles and walks away.

SCENE 4, Knowing Your Enemies

I seem to have attracted more attention than I originally anticipated I would. To be honest, I don’t even like it, but I’m stuck with what I have. I should have hired a better writer. All I have to do now is find out exactly who hates me.

Track is walking home and goes to cross a road before he notices a car heading for him.

Track then begins to run across the road dramatically to avoid being hit by the car which is moving in his general direction.

Track dives onto the pavement on the other side of the road.

The car turns just before it would have even got to him.

Well it’s obvious they don’t.

Track hears the doorbell go.

Track: (Quietly to himself) crap! I ordered more stuff from online. Oh god, the delivery guy is also the hero. The hero is also my dad. Oh my God what am I going to do!?

Track readies himself to open the door.

He opens the door and punches the delivery person. It is a different delivery person.

Track realises that the person is different and he quickly takes the package from the unconscious body then closes the door.

Track’s dad: What’ve you got there?

Track just stares at his dad.

His dad stares back at him.

They stare at each other.

They stare at each other more.

They stare at each other even more.

Without losing eye contact, Track walks slowly out of the room and closes the door.

Track has the box in his room.

Track: I can’t believe I never thought about just buying the raw power rather than ways of getting them!

Track goes to open the box and dramatic music plays.

He puts his hands on the lid, but doesn’t open it.

Track takes his hands off of the box and the music stops.

He then puts his hands back on it and the music starts again.

Track opens his window and the weird musician guy is there playing another instrumental tune.

Track: Fuck off!

The musician stops playing suddenly and looks at Track.

Just before another staring competition happens, Track pushes him off the window sill.

Track opens the box and halleluiah music starts playing and a bright light shines from the box.

Track then takes out a music player, playing the hallelujah music and turns it off.

Track stares into the box and has a look of extreme joy on his face.

SCENE 5, Coming up to date

Track, who is in full costume, walks down the road to find a woman who is being harassed by a few kids, who look like they’re trying to get their hands on the woman’s purse.

Track approaches them.

Track: Get lost! Or I’ll sort you out!

The kids look at each other, give the woman her purse back, and then start to run after Track.

Track runs away from them.



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