Cigarette, If You Please

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Satire poem, about cigarettes. At least, my attempt at a satire poem :P.

Submitted: May 09, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 09, 2007



I am this lit, burning cigarette.

My pain is your gain, so to speak,

Take a puff and expire, please, do it a little more,

Yes, right there, on my filtered,

Lipstick rimmed, anus.


Come on, breathe deeper, it hurts and burns

But you love it, you know you do.

Hah, I know you do.

My nicotine heart and lightly scented lips,

Now cindering quietly, burning

Back, back, back,

Closer to your sucking, puffing, coughing,



Go on, breathe in. Do your French Inhale,

Let my waste pour out your throat in a

Thick, hot, California stream of chalky death.

Follow up with a smoke ring, if you please,

Puff me out in a shape, let the others marvel,

Let them seethe, let them envy. I’m good

For that, you know?


Hey now, not too fast, you’ll waste me,

Where would you be if I wasn’t right there,

Perched on your teenage lips, settling in your

Teenage lungs, killing your teenage body.

Cancer is my friend, she can be your friend too.

Wait! What’s that? I only aid cancer?

Well, so does your microwave, yet,

I don’t see you lighting up its face and sucking

Smoke out of its holy ass, as fast food flavored

As you can muster.


But look now, you’ve reached the line. I’m starting

To sting, aren’t I, starting to itch your throat

A little harder, a little rougher.

You can feel me enter you, coat you,







Here I am, I knew this day would come

I’m on the sidewalk, only a shade of the glory

I was once, only once though.

I’m a memory, a faint scent on your sweater,

A questioning look from your mother,

A not-so-subtle sniff from your prude best friend,

A one time feel good light me up and smoke me down

Good ‘ole, addictive, deadly, disgusting, irresistible,


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