Love for the Young

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
I had to write something I believe in, and couldn't think of anything else. I just put down what happened to me, and why I believe what I believe. I was very disappointed when I was told I had to shorten it, and believe the final draft came out worse than the ragged, uncut first draft. Obviously, that means I am posting the rough draft.

Submitted: October 22, 2013

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Submitted: October 22, 2013

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I believe in teenage love. Many people argue against it, sayin teenagers are too youn to fall in love, and what we feel are merely hormones acting up. To be frank, I find these adults silly, as well as a tad insulting. Silly, because obviously they have not been in love or are too close-minded to believe that love is for everyone. Insulting, because they are stating that we haven't developed enough as human beings to experience love, or know what it is. I have felt this love, and still feel it today. For that reason I am a firm believer in teenage love.

His name is David Clark. I met him on October 6th, 2012. His friend, Patrick Shockley, introduced us. At the time, I had a very big crush on Patrick, so I paid David no mind. Later that night, however, Patrick told me that we could never work. David had been sending me texts the whole day, telling me how pretty I was and how any guy would be lucky to become my boyfriend. When Patrick said what he said, I immediately ran to David. I kissed him and wouldn't stop. Eventually he got me off of him long enough to ask me to be his girlfriend.

Bear in mind, I had no intention of being anyone's real girlfriend. I had plenty of pseudo relationships, but nothing real and all of them over the phone. There was no risk of anyone finding out because they all lived in different states. David himself lives in California. With this on my mind, I said yes to his question.

For three months it stayed that way, with David showering me in love and compliments, and me just giving him one-sixth of my attention. Then, over something trivial, I left him. He was devastated. He claimed he had already fallen in love with me, and would do anything to make me happy. Touched - and more than a little flattered - I took him back. I didn't know it then, but that was when the seed of love had first been planted into my hard heart. I still kept the other boys, but all of my attention was fixated upon David. Eventually they all broke off, leaving just him and me.

We rarely fought, and he always told me how amazing he thought I was. Every morning, I woke up to a text from him telling me that I was beautiful. It made me smile. We mostly talked of how wondrous the other was, but occasionally stopped ogling long enough to have real conversations. I remember we once had a conversation based solely on symbols and smiley faces. I couldn't have been happier.

At one point, I had disobeyed my father in something very big that I don't care to relive. I'll just let you know that it was big enough to get me grounded from my phone and the internet for a month and a half. It was Hell. To lose those items meant to lose all communication with David. I got my friend Baylee to let me borrow her phone every now and again, but it wasn't the same. David couldn't stand it, so he left me.

It was my turn to be distraught. I felt as though my heart was slowly being squeezed by some unseen hand. I begged for him to take me back, but he denied me. I cried for three days straight. On the fourth day, I found a song that I felt suited me. Its title was "Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down. I gave this title to David, hoping he would listen and hear what I couldn't describe myself. Upon hearing it, he broke down and took me back.

That was six months into the relationship. For two months after we were together in complete, blissful manogomy. He showered me with love and affection, and made me his world. That was the final step for me. I fell in love. And it became our final month. In its beginning, I told him I had cheated on him with five others. He in turn confessed to cheating on me with one other. Both of these had happened at the beginning of our relationship, so we willingly forgave each other.

Alas, I later made mistakes that broke us. My first was with a boy who happened to live in the same house as me because his father was dating the landlord. This boy was like my big brother, despite beaing a year younger than me. He protected me when I got hurt, and hugged me when I had nightmares - I was a whopping fifteen years old by then, but my bad dreams still scared me. I loved him like a sister.

One day my family and I, including the boy Trevor, went camping. We only had one large tent to share between us. I ended up laying by Trevor with my dad on the other side of the tent. At first, I thought nothing of it. Yet, in the middle of the night, something happened that would change my mind, as well as my life. Trevor rolled over and kissed me.

I didn't know what to do, so I just layed there. He kissed me again, and I started shaking in fear. I believe he mistok that shaking for exctiement, for he kissed me deeper and rougher. He pulled me close afterwards, and I stayed where I was. He soon fell asleep, snoring loudly. I myself found I couldn't sleep the rest of the night.

When we got back home, the first thing I did was tell David. I felt so guilty that I knew I couldn't hide it from him. I was in hysterics by the time the words finally tumbled off my stubborn tongue. He calmed me down by telling me he didn't care. I slowly believed him. That was my second mistake.

The next was simpler, but it cut deeper. David and I were talking, and I told him how much it killed me that I couldn't be in his arms. He misunderstood, and asked me if I was leaving him. I was then given a choice: Explain that I was just professing how much I missed him, or lie and add drama. I have already told you this was yet another mistake I made, so you may be guessing at what I said.

"I think I am..." were my exact, stupid words.

Needless to say, he wasn't enthused. He started ranting about how could I do this to him, after all we've been through? After begging him to never leave me, how could I dump him?

After he had calmed a bit, he offered us a week's break. I took it, telling him to honestly think about whether he wasnted to be with me. In my mind, the answer was simple: yes. That was my final mistake.

Three days later, I texted him to ask him back. Simply put, he said it wasn't happening. I begged and pleaded and cried, but to no avail. Later on, he gave many reasons for leaving me. On that day, however, we knew it was because Trevor kissed me, because I left him, and because I made him doubt us. Because I fucked up.

That was June 6th, 2013. Exactly eight months after we had started dating. For a month after I showered him with love and affection, always telling him how amazing I thought I was and how any any girl would be lucky to become his girlfriend. I wish I could tell you I said these thins for him, but there was a secret wish deep within my heart that he would see that I truly love him and take me back. I think he knew it too, for he never did.

It's been four months since we broke up. I still talk to David daily, and he is my best friend. He tells me about the girls he likes, and I give him advice on how to get them. I go to him when I'm depressed or frightened. He occasionally reminds me that he still loves me, and we both know I love him. We're fairly happy as friends.

I have a boyfriend now. We've been dating for a month, and he's a lot of fun. I guess you could say I'm moving on, and I guess I am. But I know that no matter who I date or marry, I will always love David. Love doesn't fade or go away, it's there forever. Often it's a rough, weedy thing that you wish would just disappear, but sometimes love can be sweet. I know, and because of it, I believe in teenage love.


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