The life of a nothing part two

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Please read- the life of a nothing part two.

When the new girl came I knew things were going to change.
Her eyes were full of something alien to us. They didn’t look down. They scanned the room curiously. They were full of questions. They were full of… life.
I’m sure I had that child-like questioning in my eyes once. We all did. But it’s been beaten out of us.
We are not treated like humans. The year is 2050. The world is over-populated. There are too many people and not enough food. So no-one is allowed any more children, not since 10 years ago. We are illegal children, born by rule-breaking selfish people who got murdered. And we were kept in here. To work, and make ourselves useful. Mrs Appleton says, if we are here unwanted we must do our best for our superiors, by cooking for them and cleaning. By the time we are sixteen we’ll be working as servants for the legal people. We are surplus children, unwanted, illegal, superfluous.
Most of us, apart from me of course, were put in here at birth. Those poor children were taught their parents were dirty, law-breaking criminals. I know differently because I can still remember what it was like to be in my mother’s arms breathing in her lavender and sunshine scent that reminds me so achingly of home.
Anyway. This girl, it was unusual for a girl so old to be put in here without being put down. Because she’d been outside, so she would have the power to question the terrible things we suffered through, the brainwashing into thinking we were worthless members of society.
Her memories would be fresh and pure. She would be able to clearly remember the moon and the sun. Her skin was dark brown, she stood out like a sore thumb among us. We were all ghostly white, as the majority of us had never been outside, or looked out of a window, in our lives. The only light we’d seen was the artificial lights that bore down at us.  
She- I didn’t know her name, she introduced herself by her outside name, Sally, kept whispering to us at dinner time. At the end of a long hard day we usually sat nursing our woods and shovelling down our sludge. That’s what it is. Sludge. Grey paste designed to taste disgusting but give us all the nutrients we needed. We were absolutely forbidden to talk during dinner time. Otherwise we’d get a beating or be put in solitary confinement.
I’d been in there myself. They feed you one meal a day. The rest of the day you sit in a dark cell, barely big enough to lie down in. With the cockroaches and the mice and the dust. Terrified of what lurked in the dark shadows. Hungry and bored. The memory of the light the only thing you can hold onto to keep sane.
Now, writing is my sanctuary. When my pencil touches paper I’m whole again, free again.
I think of my life as being in the middle. One side is the light, where you are free to laugh and love and live. The other side is the darkness that has smothered the voices and thoughts of the kids I’m surrounded by. And I’m in the grey, desperately holding on to a few snatched moments of light so keep from falling into the dark.


Submitted: December 19, 2010

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Comments

three wishes

yay! :D congrats, you are the first story i'm following on booksie ^-^
first line was superb.
im confused about why people would totally outlaw children... wouldn't there be more problems if no one was left to carry on the generation...? 0.o and where was the girl when she was outside, if she's illegal? i suppose my questions will be answered as the story progresses.
your "not treated like humans" paragraph seemed a little short, not very fleshed out. i do like the last line.
the solidary confinment part seems a bit superfluous. i feel like you should focus more on their whole general condition and touch on a lot of horrible things rather than focusing in detail on one punishment.
im surprised that she's allowed to write, and i think you made that part a bit too optomistic compared to her condition, which seems pretty bad.
good drama, good pace with the story, and good regulation of the information you're feeding your audience.
looking forward to hearing more :)

Sun, December 19th, 2010 12:03pm

Author
Reply

thank you for the feedback, it's always good to know how I can improve a story! Thanks for commenting :)

Sun, December 19th, 2010 5:08am

rockergurkxx

Okay, I had no idea you had a second chappie! Anyway, I really like this girl! Seems like a ray of hope! And what kind of stupid world would ban kids! Who the hell would live after they're all dead? I'm sure they need a new generation? I'm glad you aren't like some of the other authors who rush into the story and spoil all the fun, making the story way too predictable! You go at the correct pace! Great job on this! I loovee it!! Update soon dearie!
Update Me?
~~XOXO D

Mon, December 20th, 2010 4:17am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much this means so much to me! and I will update soon don't worry. x

Mon, December 20th, 2010 6:05pm

BlondeBunny13

I like it a lot! I think it's got a good plotline. I really want to see where this is going! KMU! Plz.

Mon, December 20th, 2010 6:46pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! and will do but i wont be adding onto this for a while due to personal reasons :( x
but when I do ill let u know! ;D

Tue, December 28th, 2010 8:49am

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