A Weird Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
One kindergartener must disarm a timebomb counting down to zero and defeat a horribly disfigured sloppy joe!

Submitted: August 05, 2008

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Submitted: August 05, 2008

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My story begins one sunshiny day while I was walking to school. As soon as I stepped into my classroom, I gasped. All my classmates were wearing tall white chef hats. I forgot: today was the day we had to make lunch for the kindergarteners. I fell to my knees and cried out: NOOOOO! "Quit being such a fucking drama queen and start making sloppy joes!", scolded my teacher. I was working next to my best friend, Matt. We were supposed to make the meat ourselves, but I always came prepared with cans of Manwich in case this ever happened. After putting together almost 250 sloppy joes, I was ready to explode. "Are five year olds really to eat this much meat?", I asked my teacher,exhausted. "No. But if it gets me out of teaching, get the fuck back to making sloppy joes!", said my teacher. After that, I decided to play a little prank on the kindergarteners. When my teacher wasn't looking, I snuck out of the classroom with my sloppy joe. I entered the cafeteria and quickly dumped several scoops of last week’s old lunchmeat. I took a whiff and almost barfed myself. I grinned. I snuck back into class before anyone even noticed I was gone. It felt like forever, but then it was time to give the kindergarteners their meal. At that time, my sloppy joe was glowing an eerie green and swelling up. I was just about to throw it away when little Billy picked it up. “Wait!”, I cried. Billy screamed, and so did I. My sloppy joe had grown tremendously in size, six feet high at least. And it could talk! “Where am I? What is this?”, he said. He looked around the room and saw all the little kids eating their sloppy joes. “You’re all eating my family! I bust a cap in yo’ ass fo’ dat!” He pulled out his AK-47s and shot up the room. “Everyone stand back”, he said, “Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt!” He placed a bomb with a timer on it in the ground. The timer began counting down from ten minutes. “When dat timer hits zero, it’ll turn this entire town into a parking lot!” Come on”, I whispered to the other students, and slowly and quietly we snuck out the fire escape. Once safely outside, I heard Billy cry out, “Wait for me!” “Oh fuck!”, I said aloud, “I knew I forgot something!” “Help meeeee!”, he cried from the window. The sloppy joe put a gun to his head. “If anyone tries to save him, the bomb goes off!” When the sloppy joe, turned his head I slipped a walkie-talkie into Billy’s back pocket. The news crew, police, and bomb squad were just arriving. The parking lot of the elementary school was packed with reporters, police officers, squad cars, helicopters, bystanders, and even the boy’s parents. The Bomb Squad rushed toward the school. “Allright”, a squad member said aloud, “Do we have any contact with the little boy trapped inside?” “Yes”, I said, “Walkie-talkie.” “Okay”, he said, “That means we can tell him how to disarm the bomb from the inside.” We watched through the window as the sloppy joe left the room that the bomb was planted in. “Okay”, I said to Billy, “Stay clam and walk over to that big clock” He did as told. Then, suddenly, I saw the sloppy joe walking toward the room Billy was in with his guns. “Billy! Hide and Seek!” Billy went into the closet and shut the door behind him. Sloppy Joe began walking towards the closet, he turned the handle and…BAM! Billy struck him across the head with a broom. Sloppy fell to the floor. “All right Billy!” The Bomb Squad managed to disarm the bomb, Billy was quickly dubbed a hero, and Sloppy Joe was sent to St. Jude’s Intistute For The Criminally Insane. I guess you could it a happy…

END


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