The River Below

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
As I stand on the bridge thoughts turn to all the things that led me here as I look over the railing watching the river below

Submitted: September 21, 2014

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Submitted: September 21, 2014

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As I stand on the bridge thoughts turn to all the things that led me here as I look over the railing watching the river below, I think of all the names I was called, all the times I got the looks that kill just because I’m different, just because I’m not a sheep. I think of what I might have to live for but I come up with nothing, maybe, just maybe my family but they ignore me. I’m not sure if they would be devastated or relieved because when I’m dead the trouble will end.

The consent visits to school because someone set fire to my locker which nearly set fire to the whole school. After that I had to see the school shrink as it seemed someone wanted to hurt me and they wanted to know why. Then I get called a psycho, someone sets fire to my locker and I’m the psycho? And a last my parents start fighting all the time which results in Dad moving out and Mum asking for a divorce, all this in one short year. That’s why I’m here because I’m not strong enough not like my sister, wish so much I was like her, life would be easier but I’m not Mum would always say “why can’t you be more like your sister?” Nothing I did was ever good enough in her eyes; I’ll never be the perfect daughter.

I give with life; I’m just not cut out for it. I need to end this now before I back out, I’m here now and things won’t get better if I stay in this messed up world, I just can’t carry on, I just can’t. I feel so alone, I can’t carry on like this alone. So I push myself up and over the railing, now I’m on the other side of the railing looking down at the river, I hesitate for a moment. I hear a car coming, so I jump I didn’t want anyone to stop me. I splash into the river and I instantly regret it that’s when I hear my sister screaming, she’s screaming my name, I don’t know if it’s real. And then I hit my head on the rocks at the bottom of the river. Then everything goes dark and my sister’s voice fades away, I feel myself slipping away from this world; it’s too late to go back I’m gone now.

 

Suicide is never the answer


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