I came home one evening and as I was unlocking the door I did not hear my dog Bruno whimpering on the other side as I normally do. I suspected he was asleep so I slowly opened the door. Once I stepped inside, I was a bit concerned. Bruno was not in sight! (Bruno is an eighty pound Lab-Rottweiler mix.) I heard what appeared to be a faint laughing sound coming from upstairs. I took off my shoes and slowly began to ascend to the next level. With every step the sound of laughing became more distinct. I got to the top of the stairs and noticed all of the bedroom doors were closed and the laughing was coming from behind my bedroom door! I stood there for a moment half scared, still scared wondering where Bruno was and even more scared at what I would find upon opening the door, and half puzzled, asking myself what to do. Of course it was obvious that there was only one way to find what was on the other side. My hands were trembling and my palms were sweaty which made the turning of the knob seem to take an eternity. I pushed it open ever so gently and there was Bruno lying on the bed laughing!
As I pushed the door open more the hinges made a sudden low-pitched squeaking sound and his ears stood straight up, he stopped laughing and said "Rello Reylon". Two seconds later his head fell on the pillow and his big floppy wet tongue fell out of his mouth onto the pillow. As I made my way from the doorway to the bed to check on him my right sock went from dry to wet and from white to yellow. This made my concern even greater since Bruno never has "accidents" unless he is left for really long periods of time. I wanted to remove the wet yellowed sock but getting to Bruno's side seemed to be the only thing that mattered at the time. Before I even made it to put my hands on him, I saw his chest begin to rise and fall. What a relief, he is breathing! I put my hand on him and he did not move. I knew he doesn't like his ears touched so I rubbed his ears...still nothing! Then as he expelled a deep breathe I could smell alcohol in the air. Bruno was drunk! I was disappointed in him, especially since he was only 4 years old at the time, but mostly I was relieved that he was ok. I pulled off his boots and covered him with a sheet, then left the room.
As I was going back downstairs, I began to hear Willie Nelson playing on the radio. I had been so preoccupied with the sound of Bruno's laughter at the time I entered the apartment that I hadn't noticed the music or anything else for that matter. The living room was reeking from the smell of "cannibis reeferus". I walked in the kitchen and there was a large brown standard poodle with her tail soaked in Jack Daniels, the bottle in the floor, passed out on my table. The trash can was overflowing with crushed beer cans and there was a broken Mad Dog bottle in the sink. I took a deep breathe, expelled it and told myself "So he had a friend over and the two of them got drunk. Every dog has his days." In the disturbance of all of this I had forgotten about the yellow sock. I took off the sock and opened the door to the laundry room. When I opened that door a Pit Bull fell off the washing machine, whimpered a bit and then started snoring. I had to sit down! Other than the smell of the marijuana and the sound of "Always On My Mind" playing on the radio, the living room seemed to be a great retreat for the moment. I turned off the radio and sat in my recliner for well over an hour just asking myself "Where did I go wrong?"
I began to get hungry and with the mess in the kitchen along with the passed out poodle on the table and the pitbull in the floor, I thought Pizza Hunt would be a great idea. I think the real reason I opted to order pizza was fear of opening the refrigerator. I just waited outside with the door open until the pizza arrived, hoping that the smells would exit the building. I realized they hadn't when the pizza guy asked if he could have a toke. I tipped him and told him I would ask my dog for his dealer's information when he wakes up. I didn't want to go back in so I ate my pizza outside sitting on the sidewalk. Everytime a neighbor walked by with their dog, it seemed to be staring at me and holding it's nose up in the air. I sat there pondering how to get my mind off the matter.
I decided I would go upstairs and make sure they hadn't done any more damage since I hadn't even looked in the other two upstairs rooms. I opened the other bedroom and it was perfect. I actually smiled at this point! I was optimistic going into the study room after seeing how the other bedroom was left untouched. I was ready to go into the study room and spend a bit of time writing, that always helps direct my mind to a happy place. I was ready to type! That optimism quickly turned into frustration when I found a Pomeranian passed out on my keyboard. I quickly left the apartment and rented a motel room for the night!
© Copyright 2016 Weylon Elliott. All rights reserved.
Short Story / Humor
Article / Editorial and Opinion
Miscellaneous / Health and Fitness
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