Toll Payment

Reads: 725  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 7

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Introduction of new Booksie member.

There is an alien portal in my garage. It is the point through which the landlords, or in this case the planet lords, gain entrance and egress to their local holdings. Their property hereabouts consists of the entire solar system. It is one of their smaller developments in this galaxy.

The aliens come and go through the portal anytime they see fit, however, they have to use my garage door to gain access to the outer world. I charge them a toll for the privilege. Since there is some fundamental law of physics preventing the building of a second portal on Earth, I have a monopoly on alien movement. That fact gives me a strong hand in door toll negotiations.

Obviously any intelligence advanced enough to hop about the galaxy could squash me like a bug. They choose not to do so. They have a very strict code of ethics. They respect the property rights of any creature sentient enough to understand the concept. I have no doubt they would vote Republican if given the chance.

Unfortunately, at least from my point of view, the door toll will never make me rich. Again it is a matter of alien ethics. Since money is truly the root of all evil, they would never deal in anything as crass and filthy as wealth.

I broached the idea that they might pay me an annual tribute of 20 young virgins. Naturally, they turned that down flat. No doubt they were abolitionists back in the day. At any rate, my proposal was facetious, but aliens apparently have no sense of humor.

Negotiations dragged on until the wee hours of the morning. Exhausted after 12 hours of non-stop haggling, we finally settled on my having free access to their intergalactic communications network in order that I might engage in my hobby of writing. The network node on Earth is this web site. So, Booksie, all parties having signed the agreement, here I am.


Submitted: November 16, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Whiskey Charlie. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Chris Green

Great introduction Whiskey Charlie.

Fri, November 21st, 2014 9:07am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Chris. I'm glad you liked it.

Sun, November 23rd, 2014 9:27am

Blaine Arcade

I hate to repeat the other comments, but this is quite a clever way to introduce yourself. Your commitment to the idea makes me think you appreciate doing things in your own way and tempts me to read your other work.

Wed, January 7th, 2015 10:04pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. I do try to make things interesting.

Wed, January 7th, 2015 2:55pm

Joseph Mark

Welcome! I look forward to reading more of your work.

Mon, January 12th, 2015 11:20am

Author
Reply

Thanks.

Mon, January 12th, 2015 6:44am

Johnny Q

Good story. Enjoyed the intro, even though this is the second story I've read from you.

Tue, March 17th, 2015 1:18pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the read. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Tue, March 17th, 2015 6:56am

D. Thurmond aka JEF

Very clever and so funny. Big two thumbs up from me. If I were a space alien, I might be able to offer more thumbs up, but hay. --- Great read, thanks!

Tue, December 8th, 2015 9:47pm

Author
Reply

Ha. Ha. Thanks for the read, JEF. I had to start my Booksie usage with something I hoped would make a positive impression.

Wed, December 16th, 2015 8:22am

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