Independant

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is any email I was writing to my friend when I logged on to my computer to write a story about my very recent break up. I changed the names in the email and decided it was the piece I would post. It is pretty much my feelings...

Submitted: October 28, 2009

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Submitted: October 28, 2009

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I just...I don’t know!
I wasn’t feeling it anymore
He just did stuff that...bothered me
Eating all my gum (yes, all of it until I yelled at him), copying off my paper in German, never even trying to bring a pencil because he new if he asked me I'd lend him one, and I’m not sure if this bothered me but it always kinda bothered me that just cause I'd go up to someone and take their food with out asking cause they were my friend he would do it to, even if they weren’t really his friend (well, they ended up being but whatever)
Oh and I’m not exactly a big fan of Emma but he was really mean to her. Maybe it was because he thought I really hated her but I just dislike her. He would say really mean things to her and I didn’t like it. At first I was glad when he was sticking up for me and I didn’t mind the language but now…
I just....I don’t know!!! I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I didn’t like him anymore. We didn’t really do anything normal friends don’t do anyway, besides he would come to my locker in the morning (which actually got on my nerves) and we would hug (no, friends do that I lied).
And I guess Connor is a great guy but...it's been like a month and I think 3 days and well...in middle school that is a really long time. Relationships in middle school used to last one week at longest. The truth is I just need some time to breathe. Am I the only person who thinks it is weird that seventh graders date? More so that they KISS each other? I did it. I dated Connor, I kissed him, but...it’s WEIRD.
I don’t know. I don’t think its that crazy.
But what is funny is right after I broke up with him and left school, I got home and my brother is like, "So you have a boyfriend?" My German teacher had told him because we learned how to say boyfriend, or friend that is a boy and girlfriend/ friend that is a girl. He asked Jonny Kener, "Hast du eine Freundin?" And he said no and they had this whole talk about why he didn't. Then he asks me, "Hast du einen Freund?" And of course I'm sitting next to Connor right then. I said yes and he asked who and I pointed to Connor, and it was hilarious because the eight graders were looking at me funny. :-)
But honestly, I don't think it is crazy. I really think I did the right thing breaking up with him. Love in middle school isn't always love. And if it is, you know when you have it. I didn't know, honestly. Everyone said I dated Connor to get over Keith. I said no, that that was crazy and I would never do that. No one knew it was actually mostly true. Because with my sadness mostly over I made a random decision that I liked Connor, since he had asked me out just after Keith did. So I told Emma to tell him to ask me out again. I was never really sure if it was right once I had it. I wasn't sure if I liked him. And we never really acted like anything special. Sure, we went to the movies and he had his arm around me and we kissed once and we hugged and all that, but we never held hands or anything and...Well we didn't really TALK much. We didn't really have anything to talk about. All the other couples I see are always chatting with each other, and I had to wonder if I had it wrong.
And finally his little quirks began to irk me and....I couldn't take it. You and others may say I'm crazy, that Connor was a great guy and I made a huge mistake, but I don't think so. I think he's kind of clingy, annoyingand that I did the right thing. And considering I'm not feeling like shit right now, I guess I'm right.
-Carmen


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