Poem by: whiteroses
heart, mind, confused
Submitted: March 23, 2012
Copyright © Whiteroses 2012
© Copyright 2016 whiteroses. All rights reserved.
the sad thing is...we can't undo anything It was very well written sensei!!! I liked it!
thank you Jinnie!
I don't care if it sounds poetic or not; I don't care if it is good or bad. It carries a very important message, and that I care!
You nailed it to the heart of the reader! Like Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart." Fascinating work!
I like it.
LOL but does it?
aww thank you!!
Oh my goodness! This is amazing :) I really love this. It sounds soo brilliant together and it has lots of emotions. I liked it :D
aww thank you sooo much Jamile!! xoxo
So emotional *blows into canky!* WOW! My tab just spazzed out. IT FINALLY SHUT DOWN! - RANDOM! But I rlly did love this SO much!
awww thank you babe!! xoxo
I like this poem, though not so great. If i were to rate it, a 7 out of 10. You could've done it better, like making the whole poem about the tears-tears is everything. You might think why we cry. So in your poem, had you stick to "tears" and battle over the idea of whether it's helpful or not so helpful, it would be great.
The only problem i have is "you are complete because you are imperfect and imperfect because with your other half you feel complete." It's very....dull. I doesn't make sense. I won't say whether I agree or not, i mean we can talk about this, but that line just proves to be anti-poetic (lol i'm sorry but i have to be honest, so don't do the GL- thing, ok?lol)
But, the highlight of this poem is the line "Oh how you wish you could have been....oblivious to the feelings you held within" that's just beautiful. It's basically, to me, what this whole poem is about. And about yourself too. You and I both know it's hard to run away from memories, or feelings. And this is where the tears come in play--why tears? Why we cry?
As a person, do you feel better when you cry? Does the tears carry the pain from memories as to make it easier? See? There's a special connecter between tears and the line i mentioned above. Well done.
I see a contradiction between "A cascading waterfall you'd wish to wall" and "A single hope suddenly emerges with that glistening tears". Does hope come in quantity or quality? Or just hope? Think about this line :D
Nice writing and keep up. You know I like my desserts (ok that sounds weird.) Cheers!!!
Very true,Everyone faults,makes them themselves,a lot of people regret but the things is so one can possible achieve a whole life of bliss,things get shitty and you experience life.but when the one moment of bliss does come it's always worth it,even if your not proud of your mistakes,everything that you've endured and gone through got you to the place you are and made you who've you became.
Thanks I agree
Good, it is brilliant in flashes and there are several such. The format is admirable no doubt.
Yes, i know how heart ache feels like. It is subtle and undescribable feeling but you kinda nailed it.i cant claim to understand it... like why do we need some other half to complete us... we may need them to make our life more beautiful, happier and blissful.
Never feel incomplete just because you think someone else can complete you, every individual is a perfectible entity on his/her own.
i liked this thought provoking poem :)
awww thanks hun :)
this is so awesome!
have you guys like have an awesome-o-meter?
cuz it's shooting down ;)
awww lol thanks xoxo
It took me a while to understand the poem.. Great job as usual! You have penned it with such beauty, it takes you to a different place.. A place I would rather not be..:P Always keep that pen moving!!:)
i know I know
thank you again yuffy!
OMG, this poem is beautiful! XD
thank you soo much!!
ANOTHER AMAZING POEM!! Keep writing!!!!! aagain, KMU on any new poems!!!
aww thank you soo much!! ok!!
Just beautiful. I liked it.
Ahh thanks finally I thought it was a long 1235 million words essay O.o :p haha!! 143 all the way!..Its sooo deply heavenly made with your own granny Rosa Cosa recipe, one which not many people know of!. I absoloutley loved and it deeply touched me to the core. Thats how fantabilous it is!!..Keep writing :D
ur soooo sweet laka taka :)
thank u sooo much heheheh xoxoxo 143 whoop whoop
How do you DO that?
Like, write poems like a genius! AAARGGHH. I WISH I could write poems like you could. You put so much meaning behind them...
Never EVER stop writing poems. You're so good at it.
I loved the last few lines. They're so TRUE.
Now... I just need my other half to feel perfect. LOL.
GREAT job, as always.
Please KMU :)
awwww thank you soo much Ash!!
love you babe!!
The poem shines when it's not read as a whole. Actually,it worked. I'll tell you why, The title of this poem is 'a confused heart leads to a confused mind'. Eventhough, you intended the lines to be a natural progression from one another, the title gives a meaning to the poem, like, its portraying the musings of a confused heart in confused images. This phenomenon,I know its unconscious, takes this little heart-touching poem into a whole new realm.
Each pair of lines teach a lesson on varied matters of the heart although they are the same.
'you wish to be able to unsee...' Gosh, the clever 'un-' attached to our regular verbs give me a more edgy,more fuller meaning...
'oh how you wish you could have..' This really describes to me the amount of pain and heartache the situation has been giving to the narrator.
'And to love someone with all your heart...' Gosh, what apretty little Rosie-style nugget in the poem. It's absolutely true indeed. Being imperfect is the most beautiful thing that has happened to humans and in fact, it's the perfect amount of imperfect in us which makes us unique and more importantly, allows us to grow,tranform and change!!!
'Perfection is the balance within the two..' What a precious little pearl!! Yes, balance is the key to human existence. Gosh,I loved this. Oh,I forgot to tell you, I love the way you semi-rhyme your poems to create a carefully planned messy effect. I love this!!!
you give me too much credit where it isnt earned!!
i love your comments you gave all the poems you've read!!
makes me seem more amazing than i am :D
love you tons sis xoxo
I was blinded by the brilliant rhymes in this to actually catch what the subject was but still, great job.
aww lol thank you very much
mostly about having those pink glasses off your eyes and seeing things for how they truly were
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