Deep Disappointments

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Aw, you know. The things you invest yourself in that blow up in your face. Deep disappointments. The ones you've jumped into and then have to climb and climb and climb out of.


Deep Disappointments

Deep disappointments are hard
Like the raspberry seed that cracks your bad tooth
Or the bit of gravel that gouges your parquet floor
Deep disappointments don’t have any 'give’ 
And they don't fix themselves
You have to do the work

Cracking a tooth on a raspberry seed?
Scratching the parquet with gravel stuck to your shoe?
Begs the question of why you let it happen
The how is given, clear, but - c’mon!
What? - you don’t know from raspberries?
You don’t know from gravel?

You can not be that ingenuous
Or more truly ‘disingenuous’
Raspberries have seeds - shoes pick up gravel
You simply gave no thought to consequences
Didn’t give a good goddamn at the time
Just took the leap and dove right in, head first

Okay, that image may jar; may not work
Not for the raspberry seeds or gouged parquet floors
But the principle is the same
If you take what you want when you want 
Just know it can turn to deep disappointment
And then you’ll have work to do

You’ll have to face both the thing and yourself
The work is hard - like the thing that tripped you  -
Having to accept a new deep disappointment
And recognize your part in it, a product of
Ingenuous - or disingenuous - blind trust...
Paybacks, you learn, are a bitch ...




 


Submitted: July 25, 2012

© Copyright 2020 Wilbur. All rights reserved.

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Comments

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Dozy

I always associate "paybacks are a bitch" with Randy Quade's line in "Independence Day" as he flew his airplane up ET's rectum. Good line, good movie -- and great acting from Bill Pullman.
Loved the poem. Sounds painful -- but not as bad as gravel in the tooth!

Wed, July 25th, 2012 10:36pm

Author
Reply

Errggh - that'd be more than a deep disappointment!


Thanks for reading and for your comment, Dozy. Independence Day: we do share some memories...

Kindest regards, Connie -- (and I don't think that was a typo in the other piece; more like mis-spelling!)

Wed, July 25th, 2012 4:17pm

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Mike Stevens

Another winner from the mind of the Connanator! (?)

Wed, July 25th, 2012 11:50pm

Author
Reply

Tooo funny, Mike! - And thank you thank you thank you - I send you my very best regards, Connie

Wed, July 25th, 2012 5:33pm

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dibbledabble

My freehold for deep disappointment is much higher than gravel and seeds. Or is it just different? Cracked tooth. Scratched floor. Life happens. No room for disappointment. But then forget something that effect an outcome and disappointment can come deep.

Now you have my mind running this morning thinking of the things that mostly disappoint

Warmly yours

Dibs

Thu, July 26th, 2012 5:14am

Author
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Oh yes, Dibs. Deep disappointments aren't born of raspberry seeds or gravel scratches, as well I know. - No, they come from a giving of yourself in some way or part to an unreliable, or unservicable, or unworthy, or ungiving/unloving, or unaccepting/unkind, or insensitive, or insecure, or immoral, or intractable, or or or or or or or.... ceding trust to what wounds, gouges, cracks you - your heart - your spirit. Worst of all, your belief in yourself.

Those are what I was pointing at, but using the homely seed and gravel as cartoon illustrations.

We recover. We do. It takes work - .

You understand what I'm referring to, Dibs. I know you do. And I meant no disrespect to what is truly the deep disappointment that scars our lives.
With best and many regards, Connie

Thu, July 26th, 2012 9:06am

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bobby byzell

ouch! i do know the feeling. very good connie.

Sun, July 29th, 2012 12:22am

Author
Reply

Thanks, Connie

Sat, July 28th, 2012 5:27pm

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Chris Gerard

Hi Connie. I love your thought processes, and, as you know, love it when you write the personal stuff. This works for me on lots of levels. Thank you.

Sun, July 29th, 2012 10:16pm

Author
Reply

And that is a good review and note, Chris. Good to see your name.

Glad you get the layering. It was meant/intended. Nice to have it caught -- and appreciated.

Take care. Kindest regards, Connie

Sun, July 29th, 2012 4:35pm

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moonphish

deep disappointment can be climbed out of if you stand tall....and maybe standing tall will allow you to avoid the falling in the first place

Tue, July 31st, 2012 5:29am

Author
Reply

Could be, moonphish. The crux of the deep disappointments I wrote about is to 'look before you leap. Sound advice. As is stand tall.

Trouble is, when something is attractive enough, then leaping is the all of it! Blind trust and leaping.

-- Looking for what might betray you? Oh that! Pish tush and a couple of poohs,I'll cry over my skinned knees later.- Only it's the self-respect that gets the deepest skinning.

But you got all that. You just said it more kindly!
Thanks, Connie

Tue, July 31st, 2012 7:25am

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brucek

sounds like you're talking straight to me on this one, and you know, i want to keep on jumping. seems the only way i can get any living done these days. so there will be consequences. i've always known that. wonderful poem from a wise lady.

Tue, August 21st, 2012 11:10am

Author
Reply

Ah, Bruce - those self-inflicted learning curves complete with falling rocks. One can take warning or just belly up to the bar and ask for "Same again." Seems you're part of the latter company of life-learners.

Wishing you well, Wilbur/Connie

Fri, August 24th, 2012 11:27am

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bobthebuilder

Great analogy, as we hardly ever see it coming. But I'm going to add this little observation, one I'm sure you already know. Don't look so hard at the scratches in the floor that you don't see how beautiful the floor is still. As always, love your writing, and hope you come back.

Thu, August 29th, 2013 5:10pm

Author
Reply

What a surprise to find a message from Booksie, telling me I have a new comment. Finding it is from you is a treat. I like your writing and always looked forward to new postings from you. Shortly after I found the writing Muse had left my shores, I stopped logging on or even coming to Booksie. Sorrow, in large part, for the departed Muse. Also for the small community of writers/readers I came to view as friends of mine who continue to write, while I have not been. Sort of a cutting of all ties.
Thanks for leaving a comment so I would know you'd been by. I promise I will never overlook beauty because living Life means collective scarring. "Deep Disappointments" was a form of reminding myself that while Life can be entitled, "Freedom to Choose', there's sub-title: "Responsibility'.
How lovely it was to find it was you who stopped by! Thanks, Bob. You made me happy.

Thu, August 29th, 2013 1:35pm

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